Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

[Jynx]

Hey @Platypus2023 welcome to the forums, great to have you with us. Hope you find it to be a warm, welcoming, and supportive community. Just super quick, we have some tips & tricks that might be worth a read through as you get to know your way around the space 😊

Sounds like a vent is very much what is needed for you right now. Feel free to create a new discussion thread, perhaps over in the Somethings Not Right topic area, or even Our Stories if you'd like to tell us more about what you've been experiencing across your life.

You've obviously got quite a lot going on at the moment. I am hearing that this incident at work has left you feeling pretty shaken, but you're not feeling particularly supported in the aftermath. Could you express to some of the people around you, particularly your supports/safe people, that you are feeling more affected by this than perhaps they realise? What about mental health professionals, do you have a support team, therapist, or someone who you can turn to for some extra care and compassion in this? 

You can potentially give 1800respect a call as well, they're incredibly compassionate folks and it might be good to be able to share with someone who is completely outside of the situation.

One last thing - I have ADHD myself, and can very much understand how challenging it would be. It is still a very misunderstood disorder, and a little education can go a long way. One resource I've found to be particularly helpful is ADDitude. Perhaps there might be some stuff on there that you could show your husband to help him to understand a little better - as well as there being plenty of parenting tips and the like for supporting kids with ADHD. 

Hope getting stuff off your chest has helped you to feel a little lighter this evening. We're here to support you through the tough stuff as best we can 💜

[Platypus2023]

@Jynx thank you for the reply.

im going to look at the ADD website you mentioned and then I’m gonna try and get some sleep.

thank you.

[MenSufferToo]

Hi, as you'd imagine posting in this thread, I'm new here.

I've had a challenging life as someone with a lived experience very different to societal expectation/biases, which has in turn subjected me to secondary struggles like not being believed, much less supported.

After a long and complex healing journey where I realised I was not to blame but recognised my role in tolerating, even gravitating toward, domestic abusers, I have sadly learned how easy it is to fall into old patterns again.

I now find myself heavily invested in a relationship with someone who has devastated my self esteem, made me feel insane, and significantly impacted my mental, emotional and physical health.

I'm safe enough, but so very, very tired.

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @MenSufferToo Thank you for being here and sharing with us. 

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. No-one should have to put up with abuse. I hope you can get some support. I encourage you to reach out to Relationships Australia and 1800 respect 

I'm not sure if this applies to you, but an org I've become aware of recently doing great things is SAMSN

Thank you for letting us know you are safe. It certainly sounds like a tiring situation to be in. I have made some assumptions here based on your user name but please correct me if I'm wrong. 

Please take care, 

Paperdaisy 

[MenSufferToo]

Thank you. This time around it's not physical (though she has admitted to hitting a previous partner) so for the most part I'm just a bowl of jelly psychologically and not in any immediate danger.

I think (?) I am on the verge of leaving this relationship but for any abuse victim, leaving is this unexplainable mental anguish where even though you know it's bad, and know that despite the confusing words and gestures they don't truly love or respect you, you are conditioned to believe you don't deserve better and have some sort of sick addiction to this person who is hurting you as of they are the only one who can make you feel better.

Then spread that out to a lifetime of abuse, particularly as someone who has received limited support, and you can imagine how weak I am. I've never known anything else but this.

My social network, support systems, work/finances and physical and mental health have all been destroyed. I have a place to stay which is better than some, but honestly I have nothing left and the idea of 'starting again' from even lower than I've been before, especially with less support than ever, seems totally impossible.

There's a lot of posturing and virtue signalling about services, support, and care for men but the reality is you're on your own for the most part when it comes to getting anything beyond 20min at a time with a randomly allocated phone counsellor who has less experience than you as an 'aware' victim do.

Like I said, safe here but so very tired.

[Vibe]

Hello all

My name is Vibe and I send out a fist pump to all of you for your strength in fighting mental illness or other challenges. I have been diagnosed with a Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety, and Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms. I have been on my recovery journey for several years and have made significant progress. 

My injury occurred in the work environment, first due to chronic stress, then due to bullying, intimidation, threats, discrimination, blackmail attempts and gaslighting. I had to give up my successful career and the lifestyle it provided. It almost did me in. 

I have discovered lots about myself as part of my journey and learned much about mental health. Like most I have good moments and bad, AND I do like who I am. I am hopeful that by sharing further together we can all continue to build ourselves up. 

[Captain24]

Welcome to the forums @Vibe.

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s a big thing to do.

It gives hope to some of us that are struggling. Being able to see that the recovery journey is out there. 

I hope you find the forums a great place to hang out. 

[Arrietty]

Hello,

 I’m extremely new to this type of communication, so I hope I’m doing this properly.

I’m having a rough time at the moment, recovering from my third major surgery in 16 months. I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer in March 2022. My most recent surgery was last week, where they removed as many lymph nodes as possible from the right side of my neck. (A biopsy done a month ago showed cancer in the specimen taken.) I also had the radioactive iodine therapy in December last year, which still freaks me out when I remember the experience.

Anyway I am not doing too well in this first recovery week. My neck has been cut all the way across and up to my ear on the right side. It’s really uncomfortable and I am so tired. Everyone is saying it’s only my first week post surgery, but I feel so out of control and separated from the life I am used to. Last year I had two other similar surgeries to remove the thyroid glands, so I feel like I should be able to deal with this better. But today I’m so upset about everything. I feel like, until last week I was finally living a normal life again and now I’m thrown right back into this helpless state again. My husband doesn’t seem to understand what is going on in my head right now, so I’m feeling very overwhelmed and isolated. 
If anyone has just taken the time to just read this, thank you. You’re very kind. I think it’s helped me to have written down what’s causing me to be so upset. Thanks for putting up with my problems.

[tyme]

Hello my dear @Arrietty ,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear you have thyroid cancer and have just had surgery. I hear how stressful and 'out of control' you may be feeling. 

Please know you are not alone in this. @mr-robot-75 has has a similar experience recently.

I'm sure your doctor has mentioned to you that your thyroid plays a major part in the production of chemicals in your body. If your thyroid function has been affected, it could lead to these feelings of being out of control, depression, fatigue, irritability etc. It's best to speak to your doctor and know that there IS recovery and things can get better.

You are not alone. We are here for you 🙂

[Arrietty]

You’re so supportive responding so quickly to my post. Thank you.

I’ve learned a lot about the thyroid and what an amazing organ it is (or was in me), so I do understand that my body is under stress at the moment, having had another surgery in the same area. 

Plus, what I didn’t mention in my other post, is that this hasn’t been my worst surgery. 12 years ago I had a partial temporal lobectomy which included removal of a third of the left temporal lobe, as well as the left hippocampus and amygdala in my brain. Even entering this information into this post is bizarre, because I can’t believe I am talking about myself. That surgery was to treat uncontrollable seizures which I was having every second day. Regardless of all the side effects of that surgery, I have not had a seizure for 12 years. (Which means I have missed out on around 1640 seizures so far)
So what I’m trying to tell myself is that if I can get over that surgery 12 years ago, this surgery I had last week is nothing!
But nevertheless it’s still challenging being in this vulnerable state again.