Hey!
So I have had PTSD since I was about 8, various traumas between 8 and 16 years old. I’m 39 now. I felt like I had a decent handle on my reactions to trauma triggers but yeah maybe not. Had an incident at work and everyone is like it’s not a big deal but I feel it’s a big deal. I dunno everyone’s more interested in the perpetrator and I’m supposed to be ok with that. I feel dismissed, like what’s another trauma to add to the collection, what’s it matter. I’m disassociating with everyone all the time, I don’t want to talk to anyone and I don’t want to make decisions or do anything but sleep. I feel betrayed by the people who supposedly love me because they have been so dismissive. I don’t want to be having these feelings of being a burden to everyone. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Trigeminal Neuralgia so I’m often useless at home, exhausted from work. I have to hide the fact I’m Gender Fluid and Pansexual at work because of the homophobic and Transphobic work mates. I’m just exhausted and sick of being sick. I’m trying to get my daughter assessed for ADHD because she doesn’t stop, always talking, moving, getting into things and I just can’t keep up with the constant. She talks and moves in her sleep even! My husband is like an innocent cinnamon bun and has no understanding or concept of trauma or neurodiversity and I often feel he would be better off without me, at least his mother would be happier as I’m not good enough for her baby boy. I can’t believe he was more worried about the perpetrators future if I reported him to the police then how I was. They don’t even know each other. This introduction is becoming more of a vent then an actual introduction so maybe I’ll just stop now.
