Lived Experience Forum

[ArraDreaming]

I always try to justify me feeling like shit by saying “but it’s fine it’s fine I’m fine” because I am trying so hard to convince myself it’s all good because I’m embarrassed about whatever negative feeling I am having 

but the truth is I am really struggling with anxiety right now, but it’s ok, it’s not that bad, I’m just being ridiculous 

overall I feel generally happy but I’m noticing this anxiety that I have dealt with years and thought I was starting to move past creep back into my life 

Life is busy, really really busy and chaotic right now, nothing out of the ordinary has happened, it’s just busy, and it means I wake up in the morning already a level 7 heightened, anxious, alert, and if doesn’t take me much to tip over past a 10 and thats a problem for me 

[Krishna]

Hi @ArraDreaming   You’re not being ridiculous as waking up with anxiety is a difficult way to start your day. Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on at the moment which no doubt is adding some stressors to your life. My psychologist recommended a free app called Buddhify which has some wonderful short meditations to listen to at varying times of the day. I find the “waking up” ones really helpful in calming my morning anxiety and sets a really positive tone to the day. I also like to do some deep breathing exercises and just sit with the unpleasant physical sensations, as that’s all they are, and let time pass and they generally dissipate. Hope this helps. Breathe 🙏

[ArraDreaming]

Thanks for your suggestion unfortunately meditation just isn’t something I can get behind although it’s been suggested to me a lot and I have tried it in the past and it’s been ok I just struggle with it a bit most times

[Krishna]

Yeah I totally get that @ArraDreaming. That’s why I like this app as the meditations are short and mainly positive guided affirmations with a pleasant speaking voice. You don’t have to visualise anything or go into a zone. They’re more like someone holding your hand and walking you through the anxiety. I hope you find a means to start your day peacefully with ease. 🙏

[ArraDreaming]

I think it’s the voice on apps
that I don’t like

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @ArraDreaming ,

I’m sorry you have to start your day with such high levels of anxiety. Sure didn’t sound very nice at all!

I used to run away from the word meditation and mindfulness. I couldn’t stand the voices and music on the apps. I found the rainforest sounds with birds chirping, super irritating! And the ‘peaceful’ waves and waterfall sounds made me want to pee! Alas, it was a fail.

Conversely, I was introduced to mindfulness ‘games’ which I participated in without realising the benefits. I remember sitting in a therapy session highly tended one day, so my therapist told me to name a colour I could see on the rug. We took turns at naming colours (without repeating a colour). This was when it clicked that such ‘games’ could lower my anxiety.

This can also be done with naming smells, sounds, shades of colours, textures, tastes. Nowadays, I do this myself and don’t need someone else. So I might be walking down a path and name as many different sounds I hear.

I guess it’s not about doing it to ‘relax’, but moreso to direct your attention onto something, which in turn helps you relax.

 All the best,

 BPDSurvivor 

[Gwynn]

@BPDSurvivor - your mention of games made me think of an observation game I used to play when I was a child with seashells

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uVKSK818bI

I used to be able to tell the difference between two shells of the same type, if you can believe it! Just the act of looking at the shells and noticing every part of them, checking and rechecking, was just very relaxing to me.

[BPDSurvivor]

Most definitely @Gwynn!

There’s always something calming about nature. Even examining the patterns in fruit such as seeds in kiwis or strawberries… it’s amazing!

Examining seashells would be sooooo relaxing. I wish I was sun baking on the beach right now because it’s soooo cold here!!!

BPDSurvivor

[Paperdaisy]

I hear you @ArraDreaming Are you anxious about the day ahead? How's your sleep? For myself, I find my anxiety is always so much worse when I haven't had a great night sleep. 

[TuxedoCat]

Hi @ArraDreaming I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling today?

I'm sorry everything is so hard at the moment. It can be easy to tell people we're "fine" and sometimes taking the easy root is ok. But I'm really glad that you've shared your struggles with us here. You're not alone. It can be scary when anxiety creeps back into our lives after we've managed it for so long.

Can you tell me more about how you coped with it before? Is there anything which usually helps? 

At the start of the pandemic, my anxiety cam back with a vengeance after I'd managed it for probably 3 years. It was really unsettling and it made me feel like things were spinning out of control. It took me a while, but I starting using old strategies and it helped a lot.

Can't wait to hear from you,

TuxedoCat