Lived Experience Forum

[M_7]

My logical mind knows the answer to this is yes, but I’ve been so up and down it’s hard to imagine things improving.

I’ve always been anxious but last week I started having panic attacks. Since then my anxiety has taken over. My doctor has started me on some medication and we will be lining up therapy soon. Whilst the intense panic has subsided I’m still unable to go to work because my anxiety is so sporadic. For a while I will feel ok and then it will hit and I’m a complete wreck and can’t do anything. Or I will be very depressed. I’m also self harming [can I mention this here? I’m safe and not suicidal]. It’s unpredictable. I guess I’m asking “does it get better?” because I woke up feeling awful and it feels like this pattern is just my new normal. That sucks, I just want to be able to function and I’m so scared about going back to work next week (I took the whole week off)

I guess that was a bit of a rant, but that’s where I’m at right now. Wondering if anyone else has felt like things aren’t changing but then they did eventually…

[Shaz51]

Hello and welcome everyone @M_7 

You can chat here 24/7  

@MDT , @Jacques , @StuF , @Rhye 

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @M_7 and welcome to the forums. Anxiety is awful isn't it. I can empathise with that feeling of fear and it sounds like you have a bit of dread about what the coming week will look like. Something I love from this book is to just do anxiety once (meaning try not to be anxious about being anxious) which is easier said than done! Some strategies that can help and have worked for me are to notice the anxiety coming on and work on alleviating it right away, whether that means doing some exercise or meditation in the moment. I also find reciting a mantra to be really helpful.

It sounds like you have taken the right steps, as you mentioned you've seen your doctor and will be starting therapy. I can say from my experience that therapy has helped me and by learning techniques to cope with my anxiety it has gotten better overall. I've also accepted that it's a part of who I am and learnt to reframe the way I think of it. In the meantime, if you wanted to reach out to the SANE Support Services that is an option available to you. You are also welcome to connect with a peer worker here .

We are here, so please continue to reach out 😊

Paperdaisy 

[MDT]

Hi @M_7
And welcome

[Rhye]

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Wondering if anyone else has felt like things aren’t changing but then they did eventually…

---

Yes, so much yes @M_7! I can identify with most that you've written here, and I'm so sorry you're up against it at the moment. For me, this was some of the hardest times, the uncertainty, the waiting (for available appointments etc), the loneliness in all that...it's really tough.

BUT, here is the best bit, it absolutely can (and very usually does) get better. Once you have your supports in place and you find what works for you things really do turn around.

Where I sit today is so far from where I sat a few years ago. I went from 24/7 anxiety, panic attacks and the like, to now having to think to myself "when was the last time I had a panic attack?". I'm not cured, and I have my bad days, but it's pretty great 😊

When you find your path, stick to it, your future self will be so glad you did 💙

Rhye ☘️

[M_7]

Thank you for your kind reply. It’s all very overwhelming now and what’s quite scary is sometimes I just don’t recognise myself. This morning has been particularly bad

but you make a great point about not being anxious about being anxious. Easier said than done but acceptance is going to have to be the first step. It’s difficult because while I’ve experienced anxiety for most of my life,  many of my current symptoms are new and very scary, and adjusting to the meds is just adding to it. So I think it would take time to accept. But I am going to try.

I’ve tried distracting techniques, and breathing exercises. My partner has been helping me with a bit of yoga (he is an absolute angel) and even just expressing myself here does help. Thank you for allowing me this space, I am grateful 

[M_7]

Thank you that means a lot

[M_7]

Thank you

[Appleblossom]

Hello @M_7 

Maybe we have both logical sides and emotional sides to integrate.  I tended to the more logical mindset and experienced panic attacks for a few years about 20 years ago.  I rarely experience them in quite the same way these days.  I can usually feel it building, and manage to do what needs to be done and get to a safe space ... eg if I am out shopping or on the road.  They were the 2 areas which were worst for me.  Hearing you about being anxious about being anxious....sometimes its worth knowing our vulnerable side ... we all have an achilles heel so to speak ....

Take care and welcome to the forum ...

If you press @ button names come up form those who contributed to the thread and then if you press the name of who you want to 'talk" to, they get a hyperlink and notification.

Apple

[M_7]

@Appleblossom Thanks for the tip. Thank you for your kind message. Yeah I’ve definitely been a more logical minded person which means that I can ignore feelings and try to push past them. I think my body is finally making me pay attention….   I’m feeling a bit better this arvo, might try a little walk for some fresh air 🙂