Night Shift

[Appleblossom]

I actually dont put much music on ... one day i will have more control of my airwaves .. atm ... I am still working with creative and participatory music ... that is my way as a parent ... to ensure that my son got some good experiences in life ... nothing like a LIVE performance.

I bought some Tannoy studio monitors a year ago ... still havent wired them up yet ... I wanted one at his end and one at my end of the house ... little disagreement ... he said it was not posssible ... I dont waste any time arguing ... I dont care about piped music more than my relationships ... when I get around to it .. or can get son involved .. he does have to get a bit technical ... I will have a wow of a time ... I am very very patient.

Thanks @Former-Member I dont mean to be overly ranting or boasting or obssessive .. it is just my life .. my way of being productive and creative and encouraging my children to be the same.

@Jacques The film I saw yesterday called "Solomon and Gaenor" brought out some of the destructive attitudes of religion and sexuality in a very tragic love story ...

I think my openness about sex started in one orphanage ... where we had mixed showering facilities .. So every day I say boys and girls naked.... I was 8 ... there was absolutely nothing sexual about it ... it was often cold and agressive people pushing us through and checking us for tinea etc ...but I just didnt swallow everything I was told about it later ... I was quietly analytical about it .. I see mostly that people are human first and gendered (or variously sexed LTBGI) second ... common humanity is the unifying idea for me.

I also strangely didnt buy into gendered roles in our society ... I am a bit androgynist ...  the scientist is in me and i was experimental when I was young ... it was just the way the world around me was ... I was committed to my marriage though.

The pope has just put out a paper called Amoris Laetitia ...  "The Joy of Love" to try and redress some of the damage that superstitious and fear about sex in the church has done in people's lives.  I am not proselytising but it is in the news this week .. At least the RC church should stop rejecting divorced, re-married and singles .. and start facing up to the level of difficulty that families face in todays society.

I was just drenched ... as a baby..  without my permission in typical RC style .. it has influenced me hugely, as some nuns were the kindest people I ever met, but I am probably a bit of a thorn in the sides of conservative church members.

The promiscuity model of the 60s probably isnt the best either ... as there are a lot of tragic fallouts from that experiment .. but I never believed sex was dirty.  as a human race we are evolving (I hope) .. discussion about all relevant issues are the best way to forge a civilised society.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Appleblossom

I read your post with interest.......I bloomed late myself and didnt lose my ....bloom until 18.5 years.....

Your son sounds like sone lucky male. When I was rushing around today spending HEAPS on getting my hair done and purchasing stuff to get my curtains reput up at my home,,,,,I remembered my PSychotherapist telling me.....I should'nt be telling you this but I need to tell you before we start your session that your doing a sterling job with your son. I remember just looking at her and it not sinking in........ It was too hard. 

You write; 

"Solomon and Gaenor" brought out some of the destructive attitudes of religion and sexuality in a very tragic love story ...

Whats this about? 

Dear @Jacques

YOu write like a beautiful person who is'nt tampered by the ills of society. Sometimes, I thinnk that my husband has gone through too much, had too many bad things happen to him for him to be fully connected with society. I feel so....awfully sad and try and provide him with as much joy as possible but me thinks that your life is much better than his. 

PP

[Appleblossom]

"S & G" was just a film I saw on the weekend.  About a Welsh girl and a Jewish boy. She was shamed and shunned for getting pregnant out of wedlock .. I found it a beautiful and sad film ... their inital attraction was very innocent though. I dont think it is just religion .. that is the problem with sexuality and religion .. it is how people use them for their own less than stellar reasons.

[Jacques]

Looks can be deceiving @PeppiPatty, i suffer greatly from societies ways, i just don't speak of them because i would offend people and upset the moderators, that is why i isolate, so i don't have to be part of society, just do my own thing. 

@PeppiPatty, happy times is something i try to find where i can, i am sure he is the same as me, i just have to be careful what i say here, please don't feel like my life is better than anyone elses.

Take care @PeppiPatty, oh mum has finished her cross stitch, i will post a photo tomorrow 🙂

Jacques

[PeppiPatty]

@Jacques

 I can afford a tapestry in the next couple of days. Yay. 

I also break moderator's guidelines ......it can be upsetting. it's okay. WE can talk about it. I wrote a dream I had somewhere online yesterday and I think it might be about being told off......

What I mean't is that although my husband's life is VERY different than yours, there is elements of your life like my husband's. 

 

[Appleblossom]

@PeppiPatty I know I can ramble, but I also dont want to be abrupt or superficial.

@Jacques's video included religious and sexual imagery which is why I went that way in the discussion.

Like @Jacques my family and I have been very hurt by popularity or authority figures, social assumptions and lack of depth or sincerity.

[Former-Member]

Hi all...

Depressed....

Don't want to join in on discussion of religion or sexuality - it is okay though... 

Just don't know what to say....

Finished The Lincoln Lawyer - Ordered a book online - To Rise Again At a Decent Hour - first book purchase of the year.... I think I have had enough of legal thrillers! Although I also brought The Help at the lifeline bookfest, which I plan to read next....

Watered the garden... Partner was putting in poo compost today.... Sunflowers have run their course - he harvested the seeds... We have random tomato plants sprout up amongst the flowers - partner has replanted them in a different section....

Partner is watching a tv show that doesn't interest me - there wasn't many options at the dvd kiosk - I miss actual video stores... We watched a Charlie Brown & Snoppy movie - oh dear it was painful, but it had a good message for kids....

I'm supposed to be keeping a record of my voices - when, who, how I'm feeling etc I usually get them when I'm exhausted & in bed & don't remember the content clearly when I awake..

I'm emotionally exhausted, but not physically - wish I could go for a walk - not possible when you live in the country...

Sorry for my ramblings...

Namaste,

A

[PeppiPatty]

Thanks @Former-Member
You are kind. It is so nice reading your messages. I am just feeling this but please don't stop writing. I so Love reading your. Messages.
My life can be so stressful and often the only space for me. Is on the tiolet and sometime's even that's debateable.
My darling husband has been having a diffixult time qith all the hospital run ins and outs.
I really just want to collapse ...I had a melt down This morning and went and spent 3 hours at the hairdressers to look.... normal.
He's constantly talking sorry continuously talking picking hiatus head and chain smoking.
I feel so alone. But I can check in here.
I like that it's moderated. Last week or week before I might have accidenly put my subueb in and it was pulled off. Well I feel safe with
Not knowing
My husband won't stop talking. eweeeeeee. .

[PeppiPatty]

Huh? No @Former-Member I was just thinking how lucky I am to know you ....
Of course it's his medication........how sad.
And I'm gaining a little too but I'm going for a lap band check on Wednesday..
You are my friend @Former-Member....
You are very clever....

[Former-Member]

Hugs @Former-Member , I'm sorry you're struggling so much I wish that things could be easier for you - but glad you can come here _ I'm feeling similarly low and exhausted all the time at the moment. And jus finding it hard to find words for here. But sending hugs,
Lj