Support for long term grief

[P12]

Is there any support available for people experiencing long term grief? As far as I know, the prevailing methods assume that a person was originally free of grief and will therefore return to a free state with time. But what if a person was born in a state of grief? What can help me feel better as I face this situation?

[Eve7]

Hi @P12 

Thank you for posting those questions and I am sorry for your grief.

I don’t know if there is specific support for long term grief.

From my experience, having lost my husband, father, sister and baby girl I have learned that time does not heal but healing takes time.

I truly believe that there will be a part of our souls that does not heal and will always grieve our loved ones.

Yes, there does come a time when we don’t cry every day but that ache will always remain.

We are never the same and nor would we want to be.

Maybe there is total healing in the next life but that doesn’t mean we can’t live again.

Take care

💙🧡💙

[Former-Member]

@P12 

I found this talk really helpful, especially the jar illustration at around the 9 minute mark.

https://youtu.be/TxSd8f2Utpk

[MrsFahey]

@P12 

I'm sorry to hear about your long term grief.

But the first step to any healing is reaching out so WELL DONE.

To help answer your question about long term grief Yes there is  ReachOut Australia dose a lot for helping to treat grief they might be work looking into.

Also you could talk to your doctor about being referred to a Psychologist as there is in the DSM-IV a diagnosis called Complicated Grief this also might be another avenue to look at talking to a therapist is always helpful they might be able to give you some more tools to help you better manage some of the feelings you are feeling.

I hope this can be to some use for you.

Have a lovely day!  

[Historylover]

I found this lady's talk wise, comforting and from a life lived.  Thankyou for the link.

[Desiree1969]

Hi @P12 

You should check out TRTP - The Richards Trauma Process.

It's an amazing process that has helped me immensely and every day going through the process I have not looked back. They help clear the video tape loops that keep playing out in our subconscious where events are stored. 

I have spent time with counsellors, psychologists and mental health worker on and off over the years and consciously talking about issues - and ALL these people helped me keep moving forward, however I kept getting stuck back into it all.

I came acrross TRTP and had 3 sessions of TRTP that helped me deal with some trauma and significant events from my childhood/late teens.  The results have been simply awesome. I always thought that I would have to live with my stuff and it would take years to get me better.  

I hope this may help to give you some hope that there are processes out there to help us to find meaning and allow the grief to let go of us.

[Powderfinger]

@MrsFahey grief is very hard and an arduous process. Complicated grief however, would never wish it on anyone. It's very confusing and most days unbearable. 

[Former-Member]

@P12, what do you mean "born in a state of grief?" ?inherited grief?
I like what Eve7 said

"time does not heal

but healing takes time"
@Eve7 I'm sorry you've lost so much, and a baby girl too. My girl had just turned 13. I don't know if I can get through these anniversary dates forever (a birthday this week). I get lost, go numb. I just wanna curl up on a blanket by her headstone and not come home. Do you ever get that? Its hard. My son doesn't see the point in visiting graves on birthdays, I GET that but it would be nice to have time with him. He's 'busy' all week 😞 (even having work parties 😕 I couldn't, and don't wanna bring him 'down' or trigger guilt, so I say nothing... but wouldnt mind company, hate this always forever going through it alone 😢
Anyway, was just looking for somewhere to connect. There's good things shared here so thanks 😢

@MrsFahey   @Former-Member  @P12  @Historylover   @Desiree1969   @Powderfinger  @Emelia8  @Appleblossom  and anyone interested 💙

[Former-Member]

Then again, do we 'heal' or just get use to it? I know a part of me doesn't want to let go of the grief and 'live' because it's all I have left that connects me to her, a mum thing, it doesn't seem possible without dying. Part of being human maybe. I'm not perfect. Just went out to have breakfast, but can't eat. Got my tea though. Really want a drink but that's a slippery slope. Tea is working for now.

[Powderfinger]

@Former-Member 

Your post sparked tears for me. Please do not feel guilty or bad for that at all. You are free to express yourself however you like. Saying sorry is not of any use and I know that too, so I don't say it to people. I wish I could help by giving you some company when you want/need it. Instead I'll just let you know I was sitting with you while reading. 

Huge hugs from me. 

Ramble. Xxxxoooo