14th year house bound

[Jacques]

Karen pleasse never do that, i am so angry at myself for saying i could not talk last night, i know that would have made you feel alone, i am so sorry, i am your friend and i should have been their for you, i have no excuse for my actions.

I feel so terrible whining about seeing a few people i used to know, when you witnessed such a horrible sight, it must have been very triggering for you, did the nurses offer any counciling for you? or any support from anyone about what you witnessed?

Karen i am going to always be here if you want to talk, i am going to make an effort.

Well the side of my house got mowed today by the council and they made a mess of the drive way so i went out to rake up all the lawn clippings to make everything nice and tidy, everytime i went from one side of the drive way to the other the chickens followed, left then right, right then left, they must have thought i had food for them, i felt like the pide piper .  Miss Piggy was covered in mud, very proud of the fact she was so dirty, she was snorting at the fence at me while i was out the side.

Mrs Magpie is getting her dinner now, she is sitting on the ute eating th small chunks of mince, she is really struggling to fly, so she is well looked after, the neighbour feeds her and we supply the shower. she muct be the luckiest magpie around here.

The wild birds in our yard are growing up now from chicks so they are playing and getting up to mischeif in and under the trees and shrubs.  they are so cute.  I just went out and watered the Garden i made for you Karen, they are looking so nice. i thought of you the whole time i was their.

Anyway Karen i want you to know please don't shut me out, i am always here for you, for the good and bad times Karen, i am a man but i would never hurt you, you are my best friend.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Jacques please don't be sorry you have a right to your feelings. You had a really bad day and its understandable that you didn't feel like talking.
no I wasnt offered any counseling.
Sorry I don't mean to push you away.
Don't be so hard in yourself Jacques. You did exactly the right thing you were upset and not up to talking. My friend thats what you are supposed to do.
take care
karen

[Jacques]

Oh Karen, that is so terrible, what are they doing their, they know your background and your fear of men, why did they allow you to handle this on your own, i don't understand.

I am really starting to dred now having to go out, i am so scared of leaving the house, more now than ever.  it is just too much, i feel like i take 1 step forward and 10 steps back.

Karen, what did you do to protect youself from seeing what you did?  i hope you can feel some safty in your room, or at least the bathroom.

Karen what did you get up to today? what do you see smell and what are you looking forward too when you get out of their?

[Baboo]

HI Hiddenight,

Give me some info, i remember when you offered some one support with their strategies and mindfulness, i wish i had of copied and pasted it to write to you now....or i could try and sit up all night looking for that post.

safety first. Speak to your workers/staff/nurses, who ever you think would be best about your safety concerns.

Next

Mindfulness and grounding.

Feeling the texture of the wall, notice the difference between your clothing and the wall- you know all this 🙂

what can you hear, closest sound being your breath, furthest sound maybe traffic or a bird?

Im sitting on a leather feel computer chair but have really soft fluffy carpet under my feet ( for example )

Baboo

[Jacques]

[hiddenite]

We have classes that start at 9 and finish at 8:30.
We get a break for lunch and dinner and 15min for morning and afternoon tea.
the place smells like a hospital bleach and disinfectant.
All I want to do is sit in my car
im sorry you are finding it harder ti leave the House.
Remember baby steps.
Even if you take the car to the park and sit for a while keep trying.

[Jacques]

Oh Karen, you do really have a full day, no wonder you are feeling so low, you must be exhausted, i don't know how you manage, you are so strong my angel, i know how over powering it is to be in your safe place, just keep counting down the days till you get back to your 4X4, and i will be here to support you until your dream is realised.

Karen you sound adgitated, please be kind to yourself, you are such an amazing person, you have been through so much and you are still trying, My friend a big hug for you, and remember i am just a big plush teddy bear.

I will keep trying Karne, you show me so much strength, i wish i could be as strong as you.

[hiddenite]

Hi Baboo I have another class to go to but I will talk when I get back.
Mindfulness
use 5 SENSES
breathing meditation
foot meditation
posative affirmations
Break the day in to hours
plan to distract
mendalas
music
hot shower
bath with lots of bubbles

im sure I'll think of more

[Baboo]

do you know how long you will be in hospital for?

[hiddenite]

being assessed on satuSaturday