14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

1. Men would call me a tease because I would dress nicely, but not pay them any attention.
2.because I am not good enough. If I had made him happy and had everything perfect he would not have hurt me.
3.because I didn't please him or satisfy him not good enough
4.for doing something wrong being pathetic and weak makes me a target. Showing im vunrable and scared.

[Jacques]

Oh Karen, i am so sorry, it really upsets me you really think these answers are true.

Karen i know you are not alone with these answers, many women think the same, i am so sorry that men can't control themselves, i do honestly believe women would be so much better off without men. 

Men are just too cruel. Karen i am so sorry you feel this way, but i understand. sorry for making things worse for you.

I feel like i am failing you as a friend.

[hiddenite]

Jacques please you have never failed me. It good for me to look at those answers to see how my perception of myself is so low.
I don't know how to change them but if I don't I will continue to let people hurt me.
thank you Jacques.
Its something I need to work on.
Jacques you are helping me never doubt that

[Jacques]

I am so scared Karen that if i am to forward with my questions or answers or push you too hard you will not talk to me anymore, i really don't want to lose you as a friend, i really enjoy talking to you, and do not want to destroy what we have, a good friendship.

[hiddenite]

I would never tell someone else they deserved to be abused its just something I tell myself. Something I have believed for 24 years.
So its goung to take time and help from my friend that im not that person.
Jacques you are my bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel
thank you my friend

[Jacques]

Karen can i say one thing, it is not your fault you could not satisfy your husbands urges, men have high levels of testosterone, and a very high sex drive.

I am reading a book about mormans at the moment in one chapter, a man, a leader of the morman church has 34 wives, and guess what he was found to be having an affair with a further 5 women, so i hope you can see men have the problem with lack of control.  No matter what you tried to do he would always have that urge.  

sorry if this is triggering, i am just trying to challenge your answer.

[hiddenite]

Jacques there is nothing you can say that will push me away.
face it my friend you are stuck with me

[Jacques]

Karen i would be so honoured if one day i could make you see you are not at fault, you are a bright intellegent caring woman who deserves only kindness, i just hope i can one day show you this kindness. and you can believe it.

Big virtual hugs my friend, i know how tough this must be for you to think about.

i will never hurt you.  you are too precious to me.

[hiddenite]

Thanks for the hug j I really do need one. My psychiatrist just came and told me that I have to be here another week then they will look to see if I am well enough to go home.
How on earth do I manage another week here.

[Jacques]

Oh no Karen, well maybe look at it as well only 1 more week.  Did you tell him/her you don't feel safe their?  

Karen you will manage another week with me supporting you, i will be here everyday to talk to you, you will not be alone, we will get through this together.