Lived Experience Forum

[Peri]

Hi @Former-Member ,

i am not even up now, and it is 1030 here. I have had. Coffee but want more and have run out bugger.  The weather seems overcast and a bit gloomy . I have no plans except to do some ironing and bring in washing and boring stuff like that. 

I shall have to go out to get coffee though.

what are you up to.?

peri

[Eve7]

I relate...I really do

@Former-Member @Peri 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Peri  

So glad you don't mind this thread, I have no doubt there's many of us seniors covertly floating around the forums. Hope others share their struggle. 

You asked how my day was,  well, similar start to yours, got up lunchtime, had my pills with porridge, rang a friend, spent 2hrs sending EOI/availability to removalists for a backload to relocate my household goods late this month (relocating back to SE QLD).

Started feeling really aghitwted about 5om so took dog for walk, grabbed some takeaway but on the way home, stopped for rest at laundry mat where I had a great chat with another nurse (MH) who just relocated here for work all the way from Adelaide. 

Like General Hospital, Nurses, she seemed to have little knowledge of community MH services (like LikeMind), who I'm involved with, and poor dear is having trouble finding a rental. Hope she takes over from me here, I just gave 3wks notice to vacate. Isn't it interesting for her that I was out and about and met her. She gave me lift home as it got dark so quick. Feeling really hyper, even palpitations and nausia, couldn't even eat my takeaway 😞  but glad to be home, doing some breathing meditation to try calm myself... dog was glad for a drink and Pat. 

What did you do for dinner?

Gonna make cuppa now, watch a movie, pack another box.   Check back later ❣️

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

I can relate to a lot of things in your opening post.

You asked on other thread how my day was ...

Got up late recovering from yesterday's BIG day.

Phone call with Co-ordinator of supports.

Pruned 2 roses and put out bins.  Spoke to neighbours.

Could not watch zoom I had booked about Covid.

Emailed and did stuff for son.

Hang up a washing load of MY clothes!

I could not relate to the ony how old you feel, cos I was so not well for so long ... I lost all sense of what my age was.  Even at church (10 years ago) there were a few comments telling me I was dressing too old!  One lady wanted to take me shopping and another apologised for wearing cut away shoulders and she was 15 years older than me.   I so did not care what I looked like.  I went with the neat and tidy and covered up approach should be good enuff.  NOT.  I have already posted about my son being pleased that I was "getting younger" as the stress of the abusive marriage slowly left me, and my hair was not so grizzled and grey like an old bear.  I left when I was 41.

Anyway I am better than I was. I like the idea of working partime thru retirement as there is a big skillset among seniors and it should not be presumed that we volunteer it all and live under the poverty line.

My situation is weird in that I have a luxury item and a house, but still have not been honestly able to afford a mobile phone.  Having a car and house to run while providing for a dependent adult child with some ongoing needs meant it was easier going without phone than having the push pull ... got enuff this week and not enuff next.  I have too much physical pain to want to worry about that if I can help it.

I had a beautiful day yesterday.  Was invited to join a funeral for a forest and I could visit mum and brother's grave again.  I dressed for freezing, but the sun warmed up and the people were wonderful.  New friendships eveolving.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom  sounds like you achieved a lot yesterday today. What was the Support Coordinator phone call about? Any pregress there?

Know what you mean about age and being unwell (feeling much older than we are), chiro and CT scans and biochemist have all said my body is 10-20yrs older than age. And it's starting to feel I'm near the end lately. (Still not sure how much of that is blackdog though)

And as for the Fashion Parade most churches expect... I'm done with all that superficial BS. Should of seen the house clothes I went walking in today. Frankly, if my comfort offends people, I don't want to know them. 

Oh dear, my attitude isn't good tonight. Bit agitated, palpitations since my walk. Need to go have some ice water. Catch up 

 later. 🌻🌻🌻

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, how are you?

This is my van lol - finally  set up  for roadtrips but poor van stuck stuck at home because of COVID :face_with_rolling_eyes:

[Peri]

Hi @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , 

well i didnt achieve much i all. I stayed in bed until about 3pm I just read.  Then I got up and went to do some shopping. 

For dinner I cooked cauliflower cheese and my son cooked steaks. It was yummy.

i dont dress up fancy anymore, but settle for jeans and tops.  I haven’t bought new clothes in a few years.  Can’t really afford them.  I hardly ever wear make up anymore either. Not that I used to wear a lot, but I enjoyed eye makeup. Now days it is about twice a week that I feel up to bothering.  But I do like it when I do bother.

i was supposed to go out and meet a friend for coffee ,but could not go, she is very supportive and understanding so it was ok.

aging is a strange process.  I really find it hard to understand that it is happening to me, but it is. Fortunately I am physically well, but have the old arthritis and a bit of high blood pressure, but nothing that I worry about.  My MH is much more of a problem and more difficult to manage.  You can replace an arthritic hip, but can’t fix depression and  anxiety.

I do want to find more meaning to living, just hanging about waiting ti die seems a bit boring and it could be a long wait.

i hope everyone sleeps well and awakes to feel rested

peri

[Appleblossom]

@Peri 

Funny how your son did the meat and you did vegies.

@Eve7

Hey!

@Former-Member

It is not always easy to tell what is depression or other Ageing issues.  So true.

[Peri]

Hi @Appleblossom ,

yes, I don’t like cooking steak and never do it to his preference, so he can’t complain if he cooks it and I do veggies better,  I also don’t like handling meat !

peri

[Former-Member]

Its really hard not to stay in bed all day when you got nothing to get up for, no  real company or anything that cant wait 'till tomorrow. I so 'get' that it feels like we're just waiting to die.  Depression does this, stops our zest to sieze the day. And we know it's only us who can change it, but how when  theres no energy. I donno.

 We have to 'get out there' - find a common interest group, make acquaintances if nothing else. Its just nice to have someone to ring for a chat now and then. But the forums are great during the lockdown don't you think. Even churches have stopped meeting, and most gatherings, so it could be a while 'till we "get out there" again . It's boring, and the tv and phone work the same when I'm in bed as they do in the loungeroom. May as well stay warm... but falling asleep easier is problematic re sleep hygiene... Anyway, just try keep the brain active.

I rang 13Health tonight re palpitations... They told me to go to emergency so I did... Had an  ECG which apparently the dr was  happy with, but I had to wait to see him. I don't have the patience for protocol. The BP was up - 156/98 but apart from the thuds in my chest I'm fine - but she - put a wrist band on and sent me back to wait room saying it could be a while 😞, I just wanna go to bed, so i quietly walked out to rest at home. Especially with A&E chock-a-block (front & back they said). And Covid risk, I . Besides, hate it when they use me as a pin cushion (difficult veins) only to send me home. I'm too fragile to put up with it and all my A&E flashbacks since my girl died.

So here i am  goingcomfe illat home... still palpitations but I'll take a sedative soon, hopefully be gone by morning. And i have telehealth apt Friday. Think im just stressing out about moving 💐🌷💌

..