Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

@Determined , not sure if you are around 🤔 but wondering how you and your family going 

[Chook_]

@tyme thanks for sharing and checking in, things are okay here. Hope you are doing well.

I have started the 28 gratitude practices from the book the magic by Rhonda Byrne, trying to role model some positive practices / and form better habits for myself.

[tyme]

That sounds great! Feel free to share any particular strategies you are focussing on. It sounds very beneficial @Chook_ 

[Bloss]

Thanks @tyme. All quiet on the home front for me since setting clear boundaries. Like others I am also looking at my responses to my daughters behaviour and, where I've noticed that I've lacked empathy I've apologised. I was fortunate to attend the 'Staying Connected when Emotions Run High" workshop through Illawarra Health years ago. Since then I've worked on developing 'contagious calm'. Having said all this, there will still be times when I will have to either bite my tongue or walk away. But that's ok too.

[tyme]

Such an amazing takeaway, and so important @Bloss . It's a form of self-care and protection. Good on you and thanks for sharing.

[Sweetpotato]

@tyme thank you it is so kind of you to check in with us all. I'm so sorry I haven't been on here in a while. I'm doing ok considering I just got diagnosed with PTSD 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ we laugh so we don't cry right. I'm actually doing a lot better than the last few months. I went to a 4 hour breathwork experience on the weekend and it absolutely was hands down the best thing I've ever participated in. I had the most wonderful physical and emotional release. I feel alive again, like I can actually breathe. I could not recommend it more highly for anyone who is under stress.

How are you doing?

[Molly_M]

Hi Everyone,

I just found this thread and am looking to connect with others who have partners with BPD

At the moment i'm struggling to find/make time to both get educated and resources and skills to support my husband with BPD and take care of our 4 young children as well as time for myself. My husband is currently at a private mental health hospital after a significant episode, so things are quite stressful right now. 

Does anyone have any suggestions? I also work full time and feel myself getting overwhelmed easily. 

Thanks!

[Gemini2]

This is almost exactly how I have felt for the past 15 years. I am exhausted. We did not know it was BPD. I thought it was just major anger issues or maybe even bipolar, but he never sought help, wouldn't even see a GP up until now. 

He has recently been diagnosed at a mental health facility. He is now seeing a GP regularity, but is so far refusing any sort of therapy. 

If I mention anything he gets angry and says things like "Ihave spoken with the professionals and they have said I don't need any of that and I am doing everything that I can already"

I am doing as much reading and research as I can. I read a lot about putting boundaries in place. But like you, I have the fear of even mentioning the idea to him. He always knows better or just gets angry. If I do manage to get him at the right time (those times are very rare these days) that we can talk about it calmly, I know he will somewhat agree. However when he is heightened or triggered I fear that the boundaries will not stand, for one of two reasons. Either I will give in and follow his commands or console/calm/support him and just take whatever he is throwing at me. Or he will not respect the boundary. Eg. will not let me walk away. I guess we wont know until we try. So the first step is being strong enough to bring up the boundary discussion and hope it goes well. 

[Gemini2]

Sorry, I didn't realise my above message would post at the end, I thought it would reply directly to your pot @Bee36 I now realise I should write the username.