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Education is a real key @Uggy78 .... I had a break-through moment when the Stages of Change was pointed out to me. It helped me to see where my WH was roughly within that cycle, an approximation of how long that part of the cycle is, a description of the behaviours associated with that stage .... (Bingo !!) .... and roughly what to expect ....
It took away the sensation that we were floating in space and no-one could hear us ..... it was like someone had turned a distant light on, showing us the way was in that direction.
Is family counselling available for you and the kids ? It might be good to come together and air the feelings with someone who can help the kids make sense of them and provide context, even if it's just you and your eldest at the moment - he's your "lead-horse" for the others.
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