Hi
@Lexxy17 and welcome to the forums.
I have a husband with a hidden eating disorder. Although it wasn't drug induced and he hasn't suffered psychosis, we have had episodes of delusional thinking, and he switches in and out of being emotionally abusive. He underwent a personality change 8 years ago when this form of eating disorder, I believe is a complex form of anorexia, set in following a dramatic and rapid weight loss of 79kg ..... at which point the dr told him to put 5kg back on.
Since then a punishing and rigid regimen of diet and exercise has ruled all our lives, and he became controlling to the point of micromanagement ..... but part of that control includes "endowing" us with lavish generosity. ....
It's really messed up, but presented to the outside world as an immensely successful life change, and I looked like an unappreciative wife, jealous of his "successful" life change and "amazing results". Now done cracks are starting to show ..... 8 years later :face_with_rolling_eyes:
😱😡 !!! .... with our youngest son taken into the care of a psychiatrist with social anxiety and a collapse of his self-confidence.
The pdoc, rapidly and unexpectedly, diagnosed my hubby with ocpd ..... so now we have the "driver" of the eating disorder exposed, but not yet the eating disorder itself. In our state privacy laws prevent me from speaking with most doctors without my husband present, and mine, as with yours, is suffering what is medically termed as Anosognosia ..... a complete lack of insight into being unwell.
Looking up ocpd, one part of the description really stood out. It is often only the breakdown of their marriage and their spouse leaving that will send them to seeking treatment. My hubby still uses anger to try to control us, althoughbejng shocked by this diagnosis, he is trying really hard to control his need to control .... nonetheless, that sort of temper is sonethkng to take seriously. To leave, I will need to have a very strong exit plan that puts us all out of his reach before he even knows we have left, which takes an awful lot of forward planning - my hubby's control extends to cameras, phone and vehicle tracking, and restricted access to finances.
Think about it carefully, and I recommend you seek counselling, but I'm thinking that things are not going to be able to change for you without a similar decisive action - having him committed - which I can't do with my hubby but you can - and taking the action to leave him at the same time, laying the ultimatum that without a commitment to ongoing treatment, and a breaching of his lack of awareness, you will not return.
Had I known that my hubby has ocpd -- and the pdoc diagnosed that it is familial for him (his other family members are clearly like that, but it has now been triggered in my WH , Wayward Husband) - I think so would have left, or more likely, would be leaving now. I had to get my youngest through High School first, and other major family events. We passed all those milestones last year.
With this part-diagnosis in place, I am hanging around at the moment to see whether the eating disorder is discovered, but WH's lack of awareness makes this very tricky to approach. We have been recommended for family counselling, but I have been advised by support people that this is psychologically (and perhaps physically) dangerous for all of us .... so at the moment I am at a loss as to how to proceed with that. I may have to turn up to those counselling sessions but refuse to speak, and see what they do with me after that .... hopefully 1:1 counselling where I can speak up, or I may be able to direct them to the psychologist I have been seeing for 2 years, and the eating disorders counsellor I found this year.
You can see how fraught with difficulty it all is, but I am so glad you have found us here, and there will be a way forward for you too.
💜🌷F&H
