Topic Tuesday // Staying safe while supporting others // April 18, 7pm AEST

[NikNik]

@Ash89 - that brings me to another boundary related question:

There are so many wonderful compassionate people here, who would rather help someone and compromise their mental health, thinking this is a selfless and it's the best thing to do for that person.

However – there are ways to help and support someone while respecting our own boundaries.

Does anyone have any good tips on strategies on how to support someone when you want to keep your boundaries?

@Zoe7 *wink wink* I think this is where you points would be super helpful!

Some people have already offered their tips - but now is the time to get down as many as you find work. Forum and non-forum related.

We have 10 mins for this one (8:40pm)

[Phoenix_Rising]

I think for me, my answer to even Question one can vary a LOT depending on my own headspace at any given moment. I guess one of the benefits of online communication vs real-world communication is how much easier it is to step in and out of a supporting role in the virtual world.

[soul]

@utopia - sucks to have too nurturing of a nature doesn't it; wanting to solve all the problems of the world and then becoming frustrated when we can't 😞

[Zoe7]

Self-care on the forum

• You can show your support by liking a post without posting a response.
• Be aware of your own limitations when reading and responding to potentially triggering posts.
• If you feel a post or discussion is beginning to trigger you it is ok to stop reading and/or disengage from the discussion. You may politely excuse yourself from the discussion, move to a ‘safer’ thread or simply disengage from the thread altogether.
• If you feel that receiving notifications from certain threads may be distressing or triggering then it is a good idea to turn of notifications from those threads.
• Sometimes members are ‘tagged’ into discussions – that does not mean that those members have an obligation to read or respond to those posts. It may be necessary to get a sense of the specific nature of the thread before engaging in a conversation. Often the title of a thread will give an idea of the nature of its contents
• If you suspect that engaging in a conversation with a member who has posted content that may cause you to become ’triggered’ then you can show your support for that member by simply ‘Liking’ a post without posting a response. This is a good way to show that you have read a post without further engaging in the conversation.
• It is ok to acknowledge that you have read a post and will return at a later stage to respond more fully to that post. This is an acknowledgement that the member has been heard but is also a statement that the reader is attending to self-care so as to not possibly being triggered at this time themselves. Everyone has different ‘thresholds’ for dealing with triggering content and knowing that allowing for some distance, and being in the right ‘headspace’ to be able to respond effectively to a post is an important consideration for both the reply and for self-care.
• It is ok to ask other member(s) not to ‘tag’ or add you into their threads, conversations and/or posts for a time if there could be possible ‘triggering’ content in order to concentrate on self-care.

[CheerBear]

As far as boundaries on here, I learnt the hard way some big triggers of mine that come up here quite often. I have found it helpful to say that I can't be part of a certain conversation if I am tagged in it. If it comes up in the flow of a conversation I take some time out from being online. While I sometimes can feel nervous that someone will be upset or feel off about it, I know I can't be any use to myself or others if I am in a whirlpool from being triggered.

[Former-Member]

thanks @Fatih-and-Hope

[Nevyn134]

How can we set boundaries in a 24/7 situation? With someone needing constant care? Any advice is welcome.

[Smc]

@Nevyn134 Have also had the experience of not being able to access psych ward admission because they didn't think it would be of any benefit to the person. I don't think we're in as full on a situation as you, but I can to some extent sympathise with the frustration of it.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@NikNik I think it can be helpful to simply acknowledge someone's struggle and let them know that even though you aren't in a headspace to sit with them, you have heard them and you care. For me, clear and direct communication works best.

[soul]

I think we could have a whole Topic Tuesday devoted to Boundaries. Excuse me if this has already been done.