Forum Etiquette (Netiquette)

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

I think you & I were posting at the same time 🙂

I think my post on the previous page will help clarify this for you - in particular that the points around how people are treated are parts of our Community Guidelines currently, which sits separate to 'netiquette'

Hope this helps!

[Former-Member]

Sorry @NikNik - I don't see the relevance of your post to me. As part of the discussion on here a member suggested that this social etiquette be added into the forum community guidelines and that was what I was referring, to together with expressing my thoughts on the subject as invited

[NikNik]

Oh sorry @Former-Member, I missed that post about the social etiquette being added into the forum community guidelines. That's what my post was addressing - that this sits separate.

I guess what I was highlighting was thinking of it from a different perspective - if a new person arrives at the forums and wondering how to get the best out of the Forums, what tips would you give them?

A lot of people are demonstrating them right now - like using the @mention symbol when you're addressing someone directly.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member I am in total agreeance and understanding with you. Please look after yourself. I am trying my best to do the same.  

@Former-Member The tag to this post was the first thing in my inbox today and has devastated my day beyond what something like this should have and may be the thing that ends my time in SANE forum. 

I don't think selected people should have been tagged in a post like this, either tag the whole forum or put up a special notice for the thread. 

I've just written a long and detailed response and deleted it. I just can't do it. 

@Former-Member has eloquently said much of what I would have addressed as well. @Sophia1 and @Former-Member has been eloquent and brave with stating how they feel about it. Braver than me, I just can't disclose that level of pain here ... I don't have a set of support people, it's just me. 

I like the idea of having an area where those who don't want people to invade the percieved privacy of a particular thread can set up, that would help other forumites with knowing how to appropriately get involved in the more discussion oriented threads. This is a globally accessed forum, accessable without membership, so there is no actual reality to the concept of a private thread. 

Don't assume others have not read the Guidelines or other sections of the forum. 

When meaning needs clarification, use a Macquarie or an Oxford dictionary.

Don't make statements that place you or your experience above that of others, everyone's experience is valid and no competition is needed.  

Do learn how to discuss and debate rather than react when questioned - sometimes a question really is just a question not a challenge.

Do be empathic in your word usage, or don't respond at all. 

Don't try to teach another by challenging them with the very thing they have mentioned somewhere is a trigger. 

Ultimately, the SANE forum is place where everyone is seeking some for of recovery and solace, it should not be a place where cliques form, or judgements are placed on some percieved value. 

The length of time spent on the forum does not entitle anyone to special priveleges, the opinion of someone brand new to the forum is every bit as valid as anyone else's. 

Pax

[Former-Member]

All sounds great and all... @Zoe7
The points covered.... welcome to society
Very well written.

[Former-Member]

Very well said and written @Former-Member 👏

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

It seems like this discussion has stirred feelings for you and other members in the community. I'm glad you have felt safe enough to voice your opinions. It can be difficult to voice everything in a way that you feel accurately reflects your experiences.

Intention can be very hard to identify over written text, which is where the discussion on internet etiquette is meant to be meaningful and keep all community members safe.

We have sent you an email to touch base.

Take care of yourself.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member I thought I had covered everything I needed to say, not wanted, needed.

However, after having logged out and thought some more I realised I could not allow something to pass by unaddressed. I accept the good intent behind the words, just as in support of myself, I must address it with good intent behind my words. 

I need to make it clear that I did not feel 'safe enough to voice my opinions'. I still do not. 

I allowed my courage to give me the strength to address something I feel strongly about rather than let it pass by without addressing it.

Courage is what drives us through our fear to do something we really would rather not do.

I do not feel safe making this post and i apologise in advance for hurting your, or anyone else's feelings by making this post. I do not mean to be disrespectul to you,  nor to anyone else, and hope it is not taken as such.

In the words of the former Chief of the Army, Lieutenant-General David Morrison “The standard you walk past is the standard you accept”. 

Regarding the email you mentioned I've been sent, I have not yet recieved one.
However, I have been in touch with Team Sane myself throughout the day regarding this situation.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for being honest with your response. Maybe 'safe' is not the term for you, 'courage' does seem to be a better fit for you. I appreciate your honesty and just wanted to clarify by 'intent' I meant it as a statement to the community in regards to posting in general.

I'm glad you're keeping in touch with Team Sane.

Take care of yourself.

[Former-Member]

No worries @NikNik - misunderstandings occur. Glad to read that there is no consideration of implementing such internet etiquette based on a few members opinions and personal needs into the community forum guidelines based on research findings and that these two are separate; and that there's no consideration for imposing on members forum etiquette "rules" also based on the same Which has already upset many on this them resulting in them in wanting to leave.  Online etiquette for companies and other organisation forums are so vastly different in nature and complexity to complex mental health online forums....Thank you you for clearing that up! It's much appreciated.

In answer to your questions to me - The tips I would offer to newcomers would be like you mentioned -  informing them of (@) tags so they can access help and the support they need more readily. I would also give tips of threads they could access in the forum where others are discussing similar struggles as their own so they receive greater support;  empathy through recognition of their plight . I would encourage them to open up and speak freely so they can gain the proper advice, support - venting how we feel openly helps and I would encourage this.

But I would not impose etiquette "rules" (rules being the operative word) on the mentally ill as that would make them feel uncomfortable, discouraging them from opening up and reaching out in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, fear of upsetting people. People would feel oppressed and overwhelmed by too many rules, feel unfairly treated to appease a few a few members and leave.

. One rule that was suggested to be imposed on all members in the initial post under this thread was that before  posting on others threads individuals should read back and follow the jist of the conversation before posting. Given that some of these threads are thousands of pages long, hard to follow,  with some of them being "under the something is not right section", this would attract members who are in turmoil to join and share their problems whom being in distress are not always in the headspace to discern this and should not be penalised for doing so.

So Instead of imposing rules on the way distressed individuals reach out for help on lengthy on-going posts, I would like to suggest once again a solution as I did in my intital post which quite a few others here have concurred with; - that such lengthy threads be removed under a different section of the forum so they can continue their group discussions uninterrupted, which would in turn help other forumites with knowing how to appropriately get involved in the more standard MH discussion oriented threads where they would get more urgent responses/support without feeling they are intruding.