Forum Etiquette (Netiquette)

[Former-Member]

Yes I concur with you in addition to what I have already posted which is similar; "internet etiquette" (I don't like slang names either), is about common sense and courtesy;  and is about both opening up and reaching out to others with empathy and compassion without judgment in good will to save lives - it is about inclusion here and feeling valued - you are right, for this to be obtained it can't be just about ourselves. If this is discouraged it can disadvantage others as you described.

Well said @Sophia1

[Sophia1]

@Former-Member

I am saddened to hear that you have so much going on for you at the moment...

of course this would be the last thing that you need to hear...

this is exactly what I am trying to express..

we must not underestimate the impact of our words in relation to others on here...we do not know their stories...their hurt...

I understand you taking a break...I have done this several times myself....things have been overwhelming for me..I too have been hurt on here in the past...

there are times where I limited the threads that I responded too when I came back....I stayed in the background..basically liking (still hate that term)..then ventured to talk about totally different things on specific threads..where I felt safe...not judged..

please I implore you do not leave on this note...for the reason of feeling isolated and not enough..

I know that feeling only too well....my head goes to that place too and it is a horrid place...

take a break then come back ...you can check in on me at living with ourselves...you will find others on there who are on other threads that are of a softer nature...I do not want to name them as do not want to be seen a preferring people...that is not what I am saying at all.

I am feeling for you deeply as I have been there and want to let you know that you are experience a pattern of past thoughts from previous emotions...very real...

speak to your counsellor if you have one....speak to someone..

then visit me...I will be waiting and so will others....sending you a huge hug....a special cuddle from my teddy bear also 

[Zoe7]

Often ccommon sense and courtesy are things that different people have differeing views on - therefore this conversation is about what do we as a whole community understand to be the terms we should all be using - this is in order to include everyone and not exclude members from knowing what is commonly acceptable and what is not.

[Sophia1]

thank you @Former-Member an d @Former-Member

I think that this subject has evoked emotions sadly..

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member I feel upset about this post and that I was tagged in it. I wouldn’t have read this thread if I wasn’t tagged and I feel I did something wrong as I was tagged. I don’t want other members to get upset.

[Sophia1]

so very sorry

please take care....you have not upset anyone...I will not tag you...you must look after yourself you are so worthy of that....

[Former-Member]

Hello @Former-Member I am sorry this discussion has upset you, it does seem like some self care and time out of from the forums like you suggested would be helpful.Please try and look after yourself in the best way you know how.

The aim of tagging a lot of members was to be inclusive & not pin point anyone who has done anything wrong, as this is a discussion to get a range of people views and ideas and that was an invitation to do so.

Everyone has a range of views and experiences so let's all keep that in mind in this discussion going forward, every single post has interesting points, so good work everyone for sharing your views, that is not easy.

[NikNik]

Hey guys,

We completely understand how this conversation has evoked quite a bit of discussion and gone down a different path than intended.

A lot of what is being discussed about how people treat other people is part of our Community Guidelines - which is separate to netiquette. 

For example, this forum has chosen netiquette that suits their community:

I'm not saying these should be ours - because we're a different community. But the purpose of this thread is to have a bit of a brainstorm around what universal netiquette applies to this forum. 

It also seems people are getting stuck on the word 'rules' . This isn't the case - these would be for new people who want to get a sense of how best to interact and connect into this community.

I hope this clarifies things. 

In no way is the intention to make people feel as though this is aimed at them. It's a resource that most online communities have, so I'm looking forward to the suggestions.

Please drop us an email (team@saneforums.org) if you have any questions.

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

I can hear the impact this has had on you. I'll drop you an email and check in.

Take care,
Nik

[Former-Member]

As in line with the topic of conversation I read Common courtesy as defined by the dictionary "polished manners or respect for others : courteous behavior. : a courteous and respectful act or expression."  Not formulated on differing views, but research. Common courtesy and internet etiquette is universal - it is respecting others. I think as adults we can determine this for ourselves - for those wishing to push these boundaries there are the community guidelines to utilise.

My concern here is whose views are the ones determining what we can or what we can't say in posts that determines "proper internet etiquette"?,  if rules of this manner were to be enforced or included in community guidelines? - "the latter being formulated by sound research", not personal opinion. Those select few members on a thread? As opposed to how many thousands of members? What universal grounds of ethics or scientific research on behaviour can be used to support and determine this outcome?  

I think this is why people are getting upset here and very concerned - as it has the potential to lord it over others inflicting what is good etiquette for a select few above the majority of others without considering the whole picture, making them feel uncomfortable to open up and reach out in fear of doing or saying something wrong - that would in fact disadvantage the majority. There has to be valid grounds to enforce such "rules" or others will feel unfairly treated, overwhelmed and leave which could have adverse consequences.

I can offer suggestions and see valid grounds for moving some threads under new sections of the forum for reasons already stated in my prior post, but otherwise the guidelines in place when acted seem to be working I feel the emphasis should be placed on supporting each other without judgement with empathy and compassion as @Sophia1 so aptly pointed out and if anything upsets or triggers that is not of a serious nature that is sometimes unavoidable - just move away from it.