Ask Anything Monday!

[JackJane]

I see things like this as a door closed, so wander down the hall and find another one.  See it is an opportunity for change and for better things to come into your life.  An unexpected holiday, break from working to focus on you.

Not having worked due to mentall illness and chronic pain for a few years, I have found other things to do.  The time I would devote to being employed I have spent studying and probably doing some things I didn't have time to do before.  I'm sure many people turn to volunteering too.

I am sorry your were given notice, but please see it as an opportunity to move on - to better things.  I have never regretted the jobs I left behind.  Yes it may be difficult to begin with but we adapt, and actually adapt quite well.  Turn a negative into a positive as they say.

For me, I have found the things I thought I couldn't do - well I did them.  The worries have turned out to be nothing of concern.

I wish you well.  But be mindful of how you feel and discuss this with your doctor or specialist.  Be sure to have support during this time.  Take care.

[AllAboutMissy]

Thanks so much. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have ups and downs still, the difference is there is no impact on my life, it's like the "normal" flow of life now

[AllAboutMissy]

Prior to my diagnosis of Bipolar I had a high level management position in property development. Once everything went downhill, I went on stress leave. That was 2008, I've never been back.

Working for someone else was never going to be an option for me with my mood swings still stabilising on medication at the time. The stress was too much.

I'm now on DSP after three attempts and a court hearing 5 years ago however I really focused on my hobby which was fashion styling and blogging. I have now turned it into a "full time hobby" that earns income occasionally.

Having the control to do what I want when i want doing something that gives me so much joy and peace has been so beneficial for me.

Perhaps this is something for you to consider, taking control, being proactive and starting something that is just your own that gives you joy and the flexibility to work when you can and are able?

Hope this helps - love and light Missy x

[Former-Member]

I have been off work for 5 years due to , Chronic pain, depression, anxiety, all stemming from an accident I had, which has left me with body damage.
I could go back to work as I was told there is work for me, yet I know this would be undermining my mental health. I also know I could not give 100% to my job & this would end up disaster for me, personally. I am adapting to the here & now, & what I can do that is rewarding, & healing, for myself.
I am far from a victim, & life just happens, if you can flow with what ever you can & accept the changes, then a new door will open up for you & you may be able to enjoy your life despite of the pain. Us humans are tougher than what we think we are. We just need to be able to know who we are, & NEVER let a person, an experience, or a loss, pull us down to the point of no return. After all we are in this life together, even if we go out of it on our own.
Love,
BELLA! 🙂

[NikNik]

Happy Monday everyone!

Thanks @Former-Member @AllAboutMissy @JackJane for your contribution to last week's AAM.

This week:

I have just started to seeing a psychologist. She is wonderful and lays out everything we're doing and why. She has recently started talking about avenues we could take in terms of types of therapies. She has mentioned CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). It seems like this is the most common type of therapy offered by psychologists.

I'm doubtful on how helpful this will be. My 'negative' voice has always been with me.. I didn't know it could be any other way. Has anyone had success with CBT?

Thank you

[Former-Member]

Hi,

It sounds like youre feeling comfortable with the information that you're getting. I knwo when i started therapy (and probably in a lot of ways still) i took in so much information, because i was so ready for things to change and be better, but i was too scared to ask any questions... I think i've always been frightened of 'authority' i suppose and felt it wasnt my place to question anything. But its your therapy and it needs to suit you, so if you have questions about it try to ask them... even writing them down and taking them with you can help. 

The other thought that I had was that you could try the cbt and see how its feeling for you after 3/4 sessions and then discuss whether or not you think its helping. Your therapist has suggested that there are options.. just because you start with one doesnt mean you have to stick to it forever. 

I have had some success with CBT but i dont think my psychologist uses it on its own. She was talking about acceptance and commitment therapy a little while ago etc and seems to use a bit of an ecclectic approach perhaps to the symptoms that i have. But we have spent some time (a long time ago now) going over how my thinking affects my behaviour and it was really insightful to me and helped me to understand what the major influences were in my life at that time.

Good luck,

LJ

[JackJane]

CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy), I've always considered something for milder to moderate issues including anxiety.  Whilst I feel it has its place in therapy, I think it needs to be delivered by a qualified specialist therapist for those of us which are at the major/severe end of the 'scale'.

"Cognitive behaviour therapy is a talking therapy that looks at the connections between our emotions, thoughts and behaviours within the context of specific circumstances and symptoms."

There are people, who are really stuck.  And if you can't express your emotions, thoughts and behaviours then it's really difficult to get anywhere.  I also believe any form of therapy needs to be particular for those of us with PTSD or related conditions.  Once you start asking about emotions, thoughts and behaviours that involve flashbacks then a therapist is really treading on thin ice.

As it's a new psychologist, I'm not sure if it's your first psychologist.  My experience has been that a good psychologist will assess their new patient/client because really they don't know what has happened to their new patient or how volatile or vulnerable they are.  CBT is one treatment, most psychologists (and psychiatrists and other professionals) use multiple treatments so often you can choose what works best for you.  Perhaps CBT is your psychologist's main treatment.

I would ask what treatments or modalities your psychologist works with, and if they have some reading material to help you decide what may benefit you.  I would want to know what else is an option to try, how long they've been a psychologist for and if they would discuss your treatment with your referring GP (should you want this done).  It's ideal if your Doctor is in contact with your Psychologist, but this has to be your consent to do.

You may read information on CBT and feel it's not for you.  For me, Mindfulness generally spooks me so I avoid it.  It sounds to me like your negativity is a loud voice?  Maybe you'll find after a few more sessions that you and your psychologist have a better idea of where therapy will lead and perhaps starting on that negativity will be beneficial.  Negativity is a stubborn thing to shift, but not impossible.

Not only do you have to find a therapist that suits you, but the therapist needs to connect with you as a patient.  Such a match can take a while.  Read up on what treatments he/she offers, and pace yourself.  Give both of you some sessions and time to build a connection.  I wish you well.

JJ.

[Mazarita]

I recently did a free online CBT-based course called MoodGym. I completed it over about 6 weeks, one module at a time, and found it helpful in improving my negativity. For me, it was somewhere to start in exploring CBT. I can imagine doing more CBT with a psychologist could be helpful for me, but I am already seeing a psychiatrist and just sticking to that treatment for now. You sound happy with your psychologist, which seems a good sign that continuing treatment may be beneficial. 🙂

[NikNik]

Happy Monday all!

Thanks @Mazarita @JackJane and @Former-Member for being your typical awesome selves. All of your responses are really interesting and I'm sure are helpful for the member.

This week's question is:

I'm curious to see how others are dealing with their home, social, and work lives.

I'm struggling a bit with making appointments outside of work hours, and I've signed up for a 6-week group therapy course that unfortunately clashes with my work schedule. My psychologist says that since I miss a lot of work due to my condition, I may as well miss work and do something productive about my mental health.

Only my friends know that I've been seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, and am on antidepressant medications. I'm extremely hesitant to let my family and coworkers know, but it seems like there's always something that makes it obvious that I'm seeking help.

I have appointments and these courses for therapy that clash with my schedule, and I don't want coworkers to think I'm missing work because I'm lazy. I miss work because of my mental health, but I don't want to be discriminated against if I come out with the truth, because my workplace is stressful enough as it is and tensions/stress is very high recently.

How do you manage taking time out of work?

[JackJane]

I am sorry.  Trying to manage home, social and work lives is something I don't do - mainly as I don't work nor do I have much of a social life.

It's a risky situation whether or not to disclose your mental illness - not because you are mentally ill, but because of stigma and discrimination, so I guess you way up that yourself because the choice is yours and you know your work place and people better than any of us.

I haven't worked for over five years and I will never return to work, so I accept that.  My last boss didn't take my mental illness and chronic pain issues very well.  I left, but prior to that I was accommodated with re-arranging my hours so it wasn't all bad !

The thing that concerns me, from personal experience, is your psychologist saying that since you miss a lot of work anyways then you may as well miss work doing something productive - ie the group therapy course. (if I have gotten it correctly).

Chronic pain and/or mental health already impacts on our ability to work and stay employed.  I would seek a medical certificate from your doctor (if you don't want work to know about your condition/s, and you'd prefer it didn't come from your Psychiatrist).  The medical certificate doesn't need to list what conditions, it just will say 'conditions'.  Most people who have the odd 'sicky' don't get a medical certificate so it's not logged with your Doctor - unless it's 2 or 3 days or more depending on the employer.

I don't know how much leave you have as far as sick or personal leave, but I think it's important that any leave is documented and covered by a certificate (if applicable).  If you merely take a few hours off or leave early to attend a course, or it's a day, then unexplained absence may not be taken well in your job with your boss/other workers.

If down the track you have to seek disability or something, or even have workers comp or accident then documenting past leave is important.  Been there, done that and having those pieces of paper make a difference.

With a previous job I was able to re-arrange my hours, by taking less lunch break and leaving early one day a week.  That meant I could schedule appointments on that afternoon.

I would be very hesitant to take off 'more time' from work.  It may be worth finding a way to disclose your conditions confidentially to a certain person, and only have certificates handed to them.  And I know this really worries you, and I understand that.  Some employers are supportive and some are not.  Maybe your employer would organise some unpaid leave to accommodate your course and sessions, or rearrange your hours to help you attend those things you need to go to.

In any event, please diarise what you do.  Keep a diary of dates of appointments, courses and schedules.

It is worth considering a positive response if you disclosed your mental health, and maybe people around you would understand.  Things at work may improve, rather than discrimination and stigma.  But I know the 'not knowing' is the big worry.

Let us know how it all goes.  Whatever your decision I wish you well and I hope the 6 week therapy course is helpful for you.  Take care.

JJ.