Lived Experience Forum

[Rainforest]

Hey @Philosoph-g , yeah totally get what you're saying, which is why I mentioned chat services if you need a bit more privacy to talk about some of these issues.  

It can be hard at first on the forums to work them out, so it's great that you're asking questions.  If you're unsure about triggering content you can always email us here at team@saneforums.org and run it past us.  

Most of all, be yourself and have fun here! 🙂  

Cheers and take care, Rainforest 

[NatureLover]

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@Philosoph-g wrote:

@NatureLover I followed your instructions, clicked “New Discuscion” but it seems to have created my new thread inside an existing thread, hahaha, do I have to start over? I find it very difficult to navigate in here, the problem maybe I am trying to do it on my phone and I actually need to use my laptop?

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Hi @Philosoph-g , no, you've done it right as far as I can see, you've created your own thread. People can respond to you here now, we know where to find you. 

It should be OK to navigate around on your phone...there was a recent glitch but it's been fixed now. 🙂

[Philosoph-g]

I don’t need privacy to talk about this stuff. I made a decision some time ago to be a champion of mental health issues and to not hide away and be embarrassed by other people’s preceptions. I put it all out there, if people have an issue with someone with mental health issues finding some power and a voice, well that’s their problem, they do them, I can only do me.

[Philosoph-g]

• Don’t get me wrong, for a very long time I was very scared very confused and very angry my brain, this brilliant machine would betray me so completely. But I found a lot of the misery I was feeling was being projected onto me by other people that saw me as worthless and broken, a victim and I thought screw that, if I am not going to have a choice about being crazy then I am going to choose to be the best crazy I can be, smart, honest, really funny and off the chain, because it’s all about the choices we make.

[Blep]

Hello @Philosoph-g. It is great that you have found an outlet to get all your thoughts out and it is also fantastic that you have realized in yourself that the best way to express yourself is through words. It is alot easier to write things out for you have time to think about what it is you are trying to get out instead of having a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

There is so much information here to talk about but trying to reply one handed on a phone while holding a sleeping baby is bloody hard so let me just touch on one.

Drug addiction is crippling and a never ending cycle of self destruction. I was a drug addict for many years but was at my worst with my then drug of choice that I used nearly everyday for 2years. On top of that I was in the worst toxic relationship that I hit major rock bottom and nearly ended it all. This is my story and every recovering addicts story will be different. I know alot of people have that stigma of once a drug addict your just scum but I have worked hard to change my life around. It sounds like the situation currently is getting worse and you need some "out" before it becomes to uncontrollable. The only advice I can give is to find professional help and to be fully prepared to get clean and make a change. It will be bloody hard but you seems to have a good head on your shoulders you just need to find someone to help guide you through the process.

Hope you find someone and good luck.

[Philosoph-g]

I have a different view of my drug use. I enjoy it, I like it. I realised in the past when I expressed a desire to quit I was just expressing the opinion those people wanted to hear and it did not reflect my true feelings. That is not to say that when I am in a situation like my current one I don’t recognise the need to seriously cut back or even stop for a period until I can regain some control. I used to limit it to once a fortnight and really enjoyed the feeling of anticipation as it grew closer. I would ideally like to go back to that, I maintained that for 4 years before it got out of control so I know I am capable of sustaining it over a long period if I can adopt that pattern but I will need to stop all togeather for 4 to 6 weeks before I can even try that approach. 

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Philosoph-g 

I can relate on a few levels.  I am a bit autistic and am an ex user so had to navigate a lot of difficult stuff.  Hearing you about the evidence based scientific thinking.  It can help a great deal to get conscious of all that ... but it is a big ask.

Your love of words and sense of humour come thru with all the pain, also your longing to reconnect back with your old ethics and values, and desire not to hurt anyone, tho admitting you are no saint, come thru.  

I was curious about not being allowed to discuss specific meds etc on this site ... but in the end have decided it actually allows the conversations NOT to get bogged down in the endless possibilities of the medication game. I have seen some American sites where that is the main conversation.  Here, people are left to talk about themselves and their lives ... and other solutions ... so I have come to accept the value of that guideline.

I have been totally "clean" since 1982, but I have a few viral mementos which means it constantly comes up with doctors and all that.  So even tho I did build a completely professional and caring persona, I still ahd to deal with being scum and not worthy of basic health care ... hmm ... yeah ... so getting a decent medical team ... who ACTUALLY get it ...

but dont just say  ... they get it ...

is important. 

I was pretty much at the bottom of societies little pile and worked very hard at a lot of things ... ahhhh well ... as you posted ... we can only do ourselves ... all the others are taken ...

There are limits to scientfic thinking tho ... cos we cant apply proper scientfic method to everything that comes up in life ...  life is simply too messy ... so it is good to have an area in mind that accepts some things may apprea or fell irrational ... maybe we can get to the bottom of it ... maybe not ... mystery of life. 

Good Luck in achieving your needs and goals ... cuz?

I just loved it when the science came out showing how much genetic material we shared with Neanderthals ...  how interelated we all really are ... tickled my funny bone ...

[Philosoph-g]

@Appleblossom I have a theory remenant Neanderthal DNA in the human genome maybe responsible for Autism. It is just an opinion, but a throw back to a more trusting more literal more suggestible humanoid makes total sense to me.

[Philosoph-g]

My mum likes doing Ancestry type DNA test, this is her results.

[Appleblossom]

Ha ha

@Philosoph-g 

so you get what tickled my funny bone.

I have not done any DNA tests yet. Maybe one day, but it has not been necessary.  I cant get that pernickety. I last did stats in 2nd year uni and not in a hurry to do lots more ... but current news is having a honeymoon with statistical analysis.... sigh ....

I read a book by Gordon Vorster when I was in 20s Textured of Silence.  My autism was probably as a much a social deficit as a psychological deficit ... one ... extreme neglect ... etc ... no one wants to do the proper diagnosis with me ... just ... make a vague statement how "What happened to me in childhood" end of story.  I would prefer to do the psychological work ... so have to research and do most of it myself, cos even tho profs are paid, they cant seem to get around suggesting much.

Anyway Welcome to the forum.  It has helped me, being able to focus on the issues, instead of sweep them under the carpet all the bloomin time, and share and meet people.

Its all about having the right number of ideas ... not too many or not too few ... to juggle in the frontal cortex ... and align it nicely with the social reality one is in.