Lived Experience Forum

[Shine32]

@WIP  I really appreciate hearing ur story 

so u have swapped medication before? 

I was living a very normal good happy life then had 2 big life changes one being I left same employment after 8 years now I can't seem to get better it's been 7 months 

[WIP]

@Shine32 , yes I have changed meds

before.  This going to a completely mew

family group, called MAOI.

the common, popular types just stopped working.

i had a horrendous year last year with three

big life altering moments and I'm still

workimg through them.

do you talk to a therapist? Is that something you might consider? 

[MDT]

@Shine32

I see. Why is that do you think?

[WIP]

Hi @Shine32 

How has your Saturday been?

[WIP]

@Zoe7 @Rainforest 

Hey guys,

today is day 6 of the new medication. My sleep has improved a little due to prescription tablets, but the days are hard & long. 
I know I have to be patient, & give it time for the new meds to get into my system & my body start to be able to notice a small change.

Di you guys know of any forum threads

that I could read through for motivation and hope - cause I'm running pretty low on both those fronts atm. TIA

[Zoe7]

It does take time for most meds to work @WIP but you are doing well after just 6 days. Having your sleep improve - even just a little - is important. Sleep is so crucial to both our physical and mental wellbeing. I hear you on the long, hard days though. Filling your time with things you can achieve and have the energy to do is important. It doesn't have to be massive, energy sapping things but little things that you enjoy and that at the end of the day you can mentally tick off or look back on and say 'I did that today'. Even if it is only walking Levi. having a shower, doing a little housework or even coming on here to share your day - it all matters. Motivation then comes with the accomplishments ...and no matter how small they are it is important to recognise them.

I was much like you several years ago - no motivation, no change and no hope but after several years of feeling that way we ginally found a combination of meds that began working. It took several weeks for then to have any effect and that time was pure hell - but eventually I started to see slight improvements and those supporting me both here and irl could see that too - that made a difference. Having that support behind me, encouraging me, listening to me and helping me get through each day made so much difference. I wanted to give up. I was suicidal and thought this would be like all the other times with nothing helping ...but thanks to that ongoing support I got through that and found myself able to find those moments in each day that gave me even the smallest amount of joy. I could not say I was happy at all but I was not sad and depressed to the point I wanted to give up anymore. 

Find those moments Hon and accept all the support you can get - it does make a difference.

[WIP]

Thanks for your kind words @Zoe7 .

i am trying, but feel I'm fighting a losing battle.  I don't have any support other than my little Levi and my mind is so negatively dominate, that actually finding the motivation to do anything seems impossible for most of the day.  I just cry and cry for most of the day, and try to come up

with one reason to keep going.  After trying so many meds & medical procedures, that haven't worked, I'm very pessimistic that this one will

make any difference - nothing else has worked, why will this?!?

All I am grateful for is being able to have a few

hours sleep of a night, but that's because I'm throwing more meds down my throat - that can't be good!

i know I've gotta find more moments to be grateful for & that help me feel not so depressed. I just can't see how that is going to happen

when I'm in such a dark place & have been for

so long.

if someone asked me 'what do you like' 'what makes you happy' - I honestly don't have an answer for them 

[Jynx]

Hey @WIP , just wanted to reach out and send you some extra strength and hope It can be so hard when we have felt so low for so long, humans are creatures of habit and sometimes that means getting stuck. It sounds like you're really putting in effort though, looking for things to be grateful for, trying new meds. I really hope you notice some shifts soon, and we will be here for you all the way

[Zoe7]

I honestly only lived for my fur babies for a long time @WIP There was a time I pushed them away as well - that was when I was at my worst - but it is hard to continue to do that when they give us so much love. You have your new little baby so love him as I am sure he does you. For now if that is all you can do then it is enough. Let those meds work (hopefully) and then take the next step in trying to do more then.

[WIP]

Thanks @Jynx @Zoe7 

Another night of distrupted sleep, nightmares & nightsweats.

i appreciate your words of encouragement. I am trying, but quickly running out of strength. Hope went a long time ago.  I feel stuck in quicksand & the more I try,  the more I go under. Maybe the key is to just resist.

the feeling of sadness, dread & anxiety as soon as I open my eyes in the morning is too much to bear. An awful start to what is going to be another battle of a day.

ive got my little pup, but I'm letting him down too. Im not a good owner & don't walk him. Enough etc. I'm thinking of surrendering him to my Mum.