having a bad morning

[BlueBay]

Hey @JoseJones

i think not only society discourages us but also families eg parents, partners, kids. I cop it from everyone 😞

Thank you for your support.

[eth]

@BlueBay You're ok to cry as much as you need to around me.  I remember a time when even a tiny spill in the kitchen made me howl for hours.  What a shame those around you are so programmed against it.  It's their loss.  You are more in touch with your feelings than they are.

Hoping you get to the outpatients' program today and find it helpful.  Just remember that it took years for things to build up to this point for you and it will not all go away with just one day.  We are here supporting you.  Proud of your efforts to help yourself.  You matter to us.  🙂

[BlueBay]

Hi @eth

I'm not going today to outpatient program.  I just can't go back today.  Yesterday took a big toll on my emotions, my feelings, my whole self.  It's draining and today I don't know what I'll do. 

Thanks for being here for me; I can't believe how many beautiful caring people are on this forum. It amazes me to feel the love from so many.

How are you doing?  I'm sorry I always forget to ask about you.  Hope you are okay. xxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @BlueBay

I know it's not something you can necessarily control, but I feel better showing my emotions in front of people who are accepting of them, and tend to try to hold back my tears in front of people who are uncomfortable about crying.  It's important to remember tho, that it's their problem, not yours.  

I only hold back from them because crying is important to me.  It's important to me to express my emotions, but I learned that with some people, because they are uncomfortable with their own emotions, they are really embarrassed to witness other people's, and may react by ridiculing them.

Keep your tears as something special if you can, and try not to "waste" them on people who are not "with it" that way.  Those who appreciate the expression of emotions will appreciate you sharing tears with them.  It can be a real bonding moment.  Leaning to control when to express tears can be hard, but worth practicing, I think.

A family friend who is a previous social worker once told me that women tend to cry when they are upset, and men tend to become a bit emotionally aggressive.  That helps to explain my husband at the moment !!  It might be a gender thing.  I'm not an expert, but maybe that's why your husband is not very receptive to tears, rather than it being personal about you.

❤️🌈❤️

[Decadian]

Hi @BlueBay

If you were here with me I would hold you and you could cry for as long as necessary - it's the outlet you need to clear it all out - all that emotion and the feelings of revenge and despair that overcome you

Hugs and tears are healing

People who tell you not to cry just don't get it - they don't understand - and nothing can change their opinion so let him have it - and cry as much as you need to.

I hate crying myself - my glasses get salty and it takes a lot of lens cleaner to get that off. And my sinues pack up and I feel migraine starting and I try and stop crying.

But it is okay - there is nothing wrong with crying - our tears contain a hormone that builds up inside us making us feel bad - and there is nothing wrong with it

But living up to other people's expectations is not fruitful - nor satisfying - it is hard enough to live up to your own

And - about giving-up - if you have any good ideas how - I would love to know them - I feel like giving up msyelf - but what would I do? How would I do that? Would it serve any purpose?

M best thought it that we can go to bed early and stay in bed late - or all day if it helps - time does pass - and a period of inactivity can become boring

You have a lot on your plate - I did read your earlier posts and it will take time to process all this stuff that you have been going through and the programme - I guess you went yesterday.

I think you are going away for a week - I hope this is refreshing - I hope you feel better - but it is not necessary to be happy all the time - most of life is not

But we obviously care about you here - so many people are supportive

My thoughts will be with you

Decadian

[eth]

@BlueBay Thanks for asking.  I am doing ok, muddling along.  Had a much better sleep last night which was long overdue so I'm feeling good this morning about that.

If you can't get to the program today please ring the psychiatrist to talk about how it effected you.  They might have some suggestions.

Thinking of you.  Hugs 🙂

[BlueBay]

to everyone

i am sobbing as i write this and i am really sorry for everything -

i just read on another thread that someone's (sorry can't remember who it was now) son would have turned 20 this year and mothers day was hard.

i am so sorry, i feel for you so much.  here i am needing help and support and there you are hurting so much on mothers day.

i have a son almost 20 and it would tear me apart  if anything happened to him or my other children.

Sending you my love, lots of hugs and peace.  i hope you are okay.

i am so sorry for being on here  can't stop sobbing, crying mess.

i don't know what to do; this forum is meant for everyone and here i am writing so much about me.

if moderators don't want me on here, pls tell me and i will stop 

i am only just made so many friends on here, i don't want to lose any of you.

[eth]

It was me @BlueBay.  Me having a life story too doesn't lessen yours at all.  If anything the grief I have experienced has helped me empathise with yours and supporting people including you on these forums has helped me be more 'in the now' and not dwell on that pain of my own, which I have learned to live with these days.

I haven't told you before but I was also assaulted as a child and had many years of being upset over the way my mother handled it so that too helps me really want to be here for you.

[BlueBay]

I am so sorry @eth.  I feel for you so much.  I can't stop crying because I understand the pain you must be going through reg. the abuse and trouble with your mum.

We can be here for each other.

Sending you so much love and hugs xxxxooo

[Faith-and-Hope]

@eth @BlueBay

💌 ... ❤️❤️❤️

☔️ ... 🌈