Moving forward

[Former-Member]

I hope you have a good sleep.

[TAB]

..and yes, the Beer Garden is now totally trashed lol prob 500 posts who knows lol but who's counting.. people must have been ripe for it.. Am not accepting responsiblity lol @Former-Member

[TAB]

@Former-Member re prev post from @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

I think it was good @TAB. I hope you sleep soon.
I hope you are alright @Former-Member. Please check in with us again to let us know how you are going. I really hope you get a peaceful sleep soon. Thinking of you.
Sending hugs to you both. Need to make my bed up and crawl in I think. I'm tired. Only drama driving was swerving to miss an echidna crossing the road but missed him easily. Catch ya soon💜🍷🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Former-Member]

Not sure how the wine snuck in there 🤔😜😂

[TAB]

will do, mum ..bed's already made ready for me @Former-Member and you too, re sleep

[TAB]

ya goober @Former-Member lol are you sleep drinking? musta been leftover from party. Stay warm. Stay safe.

[Former-Member]

Oh @Former-Member, I so relate to whatcyou said about rght & wrong, not taking charge as a sole parent, feeling impotent or powerless to and caving in because its just too hard.

I this nk we lose credibility with people after a MH admission and we want to make it up to people by 'being nice' bit it doesn't work. Not just others but with self. Everything has become foggy, Nothing seems to matter anymore, the brain isn't processing things well, we've slipped into some kind of chronic survival mode which alters everything and how we respond. Its so hard. I had my faith that was very clear about right & wrong but still I messed up. All the run run running, the avoiding.... Its just so exhausted & we become frightened of completely going under... ...
Don't know about you but its like there's more than one person in my skin and they oft don t agree. Its so hard. And its not all our fault. I feel damaged, hobbling around with my broken wing trying to hide the obvious. I've concluded that all I can do is improve managing my brokenness.

Its not all our fault! Boundaries and our concept of self were irreversibly altered as young children - ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! All we can do is - the best we can in a given day, and not add to our stressload or suffering by shame, guilt and lamenting or over dwelling what we can't change.

Well, this is what I'm teaching myself Teej (and working on in therapy). Just want to let you know I HEAR YOU & YOUR NOT ALONE. Keep letting it out here, it does help a little.

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member @Former-Member @TAB @Former-Member @Kurra

.... And please know that most people seek advice over the hard calls ..... they are never easy or clear-cut .... and often others can see a clearer division between choices because they are outside the emotional connections in the situation .... If that makes sense ..... 

In our own situation we are working with emotional puzzle pieces, whereas someone else can see them more easily just as puzzle pieces .....

And if you had made the decision to stay instead of go .... that would still have worked .... it's just that that decision would have cost you and S4 more time from the beach house which is something both of you benefit from.  What you have chosen to do has included your needs in this equation, and I'm really proud of you for that @Former-Member.  

I grew up being good at putting everyone else's needs first .... which was okay cos I was in an environment where others were also putting my needs first .....  When I entered a situation where putting others first mean that I was taken for granted and walked all over, I had to rethink my decision-making, and start to deal a hand for myself at the table.  I had to become a player too, not just a dealer.  It ain't easy ... and that's where the opinions of trusted others can help to guide you.  It's a developmental process.  You will gain your own strength in that progressively, and be able to offer the same support to others later on.

I hope that helps you to drop the guilt out of it a bit ....

Good morning everyone.  I hope you slept well.

🌷💜

[Kurra]

Wow @Faith-and-Hope I thought you were writing about me when you described the way you grew up and how things panned out when you found yourself in a very different situation. I do have to admit though that I still find it easier to put others needs before I consider mine.

I guess it's one of the reasons that my part-time relationship with hubby works so well for me and seemingly for you. When hubby is away I can be me and indulge in my needs.

Have a fabulous day. I do hope the weather in the west has eased a little. We've got sun today! Time for Kurra to go out and buy those seedlings! 💕🎶💕