Just checking in.

[CheerBear]

Thank you lots @Gazza75 for listening and for your kind reply ❤

If it was anyone else I'd take what psych said as a threat and I'd be fighting big time and proper fired up now. But we've been working together for a long time and I really think he's one of few who genuinely have my best interests at heart. I don't think he would be doing this unless it was right. It is pressure but in giving me a choice he's trying to let me have some control and in giving a time frame he's going to stop the ridiculous "should I, shouldn't I, what should I do" that can bubble away driving me nuts.

I'm at a place where this is OK I think which is incredibly out of character for me. I've gotten myself into huge pickles fighting this in the past and it feels like I'm not fighting it now and I know my limits and accept them and that's a good thing I think. Either that or I really am absolutely mad and completely delusional in thinking I'm OK right now when I'm not (half laugh half serious there).

I've tried time out at home for a while and it's helped to an extent. I need a reset I think.

Weird feels. Weird words coming out of me today :face_with_rolling_eyes:

[Gazza75]

Your welcome @CheerBear 

As long as you are okay with it, that is the main thing.  If you are comfortable and able to do a reset then you definitely should.  It's better to do it sooner rather than later.  It's very brave and admirable that you are reaching out for help and support. It's often a very diffucult thing to do.  We certainly don't need a pickled CB 🙂

I think its fairly natural to have some doubts when you are doing/going through this.. not all that weird.. 

Maybe you could have a look at the Coping Box  thread and prep some things to take with you to stay busy and also relax.

[CheerBear]

Thanks @Gazza75 ❤

Nah pickled is no good, you're right 😉 Pickles are good but pickled people not so much.

Thanks for the reminder re the coping stuff. I put my Switch on charge as I read that. If I get a break it would be to sleep and not do anything I think as do and do and do is half my problem.

Thanks for being here Gazza. Super appreciate it/you. I hope your day has had/is having some good. Almost weekend - that's often good for you from memory.

[Teej]

So proud of you @CheerBear . I hope it turns out ok.  It doesn’t matter what time of the year. I often cracked and ended up in hospital for years for sh a few days before Christmas. It gets better and better to have that break than come home full of the sh effects the day before Christmas. What you are doing is waaaaaay more responsible than what I did.  It will be a blip on the radar in years to come but a mental health life saving thing to do now. Best wishes and hugs 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

He didn't call back @Teej, after all of that 🙁 I feel so hugely let down right now. It took so much to do that today.

[Teej]

Oh @CheerBear I’m so sorry. Can you leave a message or email him that you feel let down. That it took a huge step to trust and ask. I know I missed this by a few hours but wanted to check in on you. 

[CheerBear]

He said no matter what a referral was going in this afternoon and then it didn't and I've heard nothing @Teej. I said I needed him to take over. I never say that. There could be a million reasons why it didn't happen and I know that but two are sticking out. He forgot (it wasn't important) or it doesn't matter (I don't matter). I never do this teej and it's backfired already. Where's the hope in that. So much for reaching out 🙁 I'm so disappointed and probably feel worse tonight than I would have if I'd not said anything to start with.

Trying not to turn more dark and twisted but it's hard. Sorry. I know there's nothing you can say 🙁

[Gazza75]

@CheerBear ❤️❤️❤️🌻🌻🌻

Hang in there.  Lots of people here really care about you.  I have the habit of stating the obvious. 

[Sans911]

I'm so so sorry @CheerBear. I know that would have taken so much bravery to reach out to ask for what you needed. Awful to be so let down 😢

[CheerBear]

Thanks for listening and for getting it @Gazza75 and @Sans911. I feel very sad 🙁