Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

I noticed something disturbing today... some hallucinations whilst out braving the box day sales. Also coupled with some thought stealing and thought projection. Now I am home again it isn't happening but I took some extra medication just in case. 

I hope this doesn't mean I am becoming unwell, I am hoping it was simply a stressful situation of all the crowds. I have never been able to do crowds too well. I am not depressed although I feel emotionally worn out (probably because of the festive season in general, despite having a great day yesterday).

Thoughts anyone?

[Zoe7]

Hi @Queenie

I certainly hope for you it is just the madness and exhaustion from this time of year. 

Mentally I'm doing ok but physically I can't even move well - everything aches!

I had to go out for lunch for my Mum's birthday today and I could barely stay awake. I drove through the crowds to get to the restaurant and started to feel anxious about how many people were around. Thankfully the restaurant was quiet and further out of the way.

It's really difficult to stay grounded at this time of year so go easy on yourself - sounds like you're actually doing well even though you are emotionally worn out - that's the 'festive season' for you!! 

[Queenie]

Hi @Zoe7

Sounds like 'festive season' is knocking a few of us around! Good on you for braving the crowds and going to lunch for your Mum's birthday too!

We are going to watch a light hearted movie (Secret Life of Pets) and then I will go to bed rather early tonight. I slept from 10pm to 10am today. I'm still exhausted! 

I'll keep an eye on how I go. I am feeling a little paranoid tonight I've noticed but again, it could be from the shopping centre crowds. After Tuesday, I can call my psychologist if I need to see her urgently. My psychiatrist isn't back until Jan 3.

[Zoe7]

@Queenie completely understand the exhaustion - Mum tried to say how tired she was today (I suppose she is 70) and I said imagine feeling like this for 4 months - and having Christmas day at my place - she backed off then - think she finally got how tired I've been.

I've got the cricket on - hoping to be able to sleep a little more tonight - fur babies still want their breakfast early in the morning so no chance of sleeping in!!!!!! Lucky you 

Glad you can call your psychiatrist - don't hesitate if you need to.

My psychologist and GP aren't back until 10 Jan (officially) but psychologist has made a time to see me this week - she thought the long break was far too long. Have both their numbers and GP has already been in touch with me - sent me a christmas message - so sweet and thoughtful!

Do keep an eye on how you are going and make that call straight away if you need it! 

[Former-Member]

Its likely stress buildup - whats been happening? Try to drink lots of water, eat vegies, fruit and nuts, avoid stimulants, take 10 deep breaths often, and sit in nature as much as you can. Be kind to yourself, sending hugs xox

[Kurra]

Hi @Queenie
I suspect the crowd scenario, particularly the Boxing Day madness may have caused some confusion for the biochemistry of your brain.
Crowds can cause me quite serious problems, so I do avoid placing myself in that situation except if is absolutely essential. Frankly I find crowds terrifying.
The fact that these symptoms have all but ceased now says it all.
Do you feel that you are experiencing paranoia or is it a residual fear/anxiety from your crowd reactions?
Luv n Hugzzz 💕 🎶

[Queenie]

@Kurra - I kept thinking there was a terrorist on the bus on the way home and that continued until I walked in the front door. It is probably paranoia associated with the stress. I still feel anxious about feeling paranoid (hope that makes sense), mainly because I am scared of becoming unwell again. I guess my brain DID get all screwy in response to Boxing Day madness.

@Former-Member and @Zoe7 such anxiety is probably not helped by being tired. An early night for me is definitely on the cards I feel!

[Zoe7]

Sounds likea good plan @Queenie

I know there are times when a good night sleep would certainly help my anxiety - hopefully soon that can happen! 

[Kurra]

@Queenie
I think you've hit the nail on the head when you mentioned your fear of becoming unwell again. I suspect an element of this anxiety never leaves us but I have found that the intensity does become less.

In time I believe you will learn to trust your stability and level of wellness. Mind you, it's taken me a long time to reach this point.

Take care and believe in yourself 🎶💕

[Kurra]

As for the terrorist on the bus...... many people who have no diagnosis of mi are experiencing similar 'pseudo-paranoid ' thoughts. In such troubling times tjat we are experiencing globally, this is a normal reaction to an abnormal (and terrifying) situation. 🎶💕