Lived Experience Forum

[Queenie]

Hey folks. Everyone else in my household is asleep except for me. I'm nervous about tomorrow morning. You see tomorrow morning I meet the celebrant who is to officiate my gf and I having our commitment ceremony. I'm worried what if we don't get along with the celebrant? What our my gf and me break up and our commitment ceremony would've been for nothing? All these what ifs...

But it's normal right? I mean, it's normal to be nervous about this kind of thing isn't it? I just don't want anything to spoil what we have. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Queenie
I think its totally normal to be nervous. I do what if thinking a lot... and this is a big thing you're doing (wonderful and congrats by the way!) so absolutely ok to be nervous bout things... it shows how important this is to you and how much you care about it being great!
lj

[Queenie]

I so want this relationship to work because I really care about my gf and think she's an amazing individual. Thanks @Former-Member. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has these 'what if' thoughts. I thought I was tending towards the irrational.

[utopia]

Planning a commitment ceremony or a wedding would make all of us a bit nervous @Queenie.
Yes you hope that you can 'connect' with this celebrant. But if you don't - it won't matter - you find one you do connect with. A bit like finding a therapist.
Do you know why you want to commit or marry your gf? Is it all for positive, loving, healthy reasons?
Then I think it may just be normal nerves.
I was nervous about my wedding. I stressed every day. Until the day arrived. Then I relaxed and wasn't stressed anymore. Because everything had been organised as best as it could be. And I was getting married and felt calm.
I hope tomorrow goes well for you.

[Heart]

@Queenie, Congranulations. What you are experiencing I think is very normal. 

Relationships/Marriage is a commitment for both and should not be one sided. It does take work on BOTH sides for it work and by the sound of what you are saying you are committed to this working.

Communicate to reach a happy solution for both of you, If you don't feel comfortable with the celebrant, talk to your partner and find another as @utopia said. Tell you GF how you are feeling and what has been worring you all night. 

Good luck and let us know how it went.

[Former-Member]

hello @Queenie

congratulations to you both.

I was very anxious leading up to my wedding, even on the day and muffed a couple of responses. Made me laugh and a few of my family also.

Very small guest list.

If it is just nerves that is a natural human response.

Have you discussed this with your gf. not a bad idea. Being open with one another and communication is vital ongoing.

Casually ask her how she is feeling. she might be feeling the same. doesnt matter whether she is or not. you are just communicating your feelings to the person you love and are planning a huge thing, life commitment.

so talk, relax,laugh - it is a special moment one of many for you both.

all the best with your upcoming commitment. xx

[Appleblossom]

Dear Queenie By the time you read this you are probably through the ceremony. Hope it was a lovely event to celebrate your commitment to each other. Yes most people feel nervous about such a time in their lives. It is totally normal for your situation. Its the celebrants job to try and make you feel at ease. Congratulations. Wishing the best for both of you.

[samt31]

hi @Queenie what a wonderful thing you guys are doing. i have never been married so i don't what your going through..but being nervous is normal i would think. good luck today and enjoy the day...