DAY 4
I don't know if I can do this. Its all gotta go, pretty much, so why is it so hard? Its my head - its official - "I'm scatty like my mother" And my body does fiercely protest. Woke with loud ear whistles this morning, swollen lips & sore throat (definitely lost my beauty lol)
CraftGp/Chch friend dropped in briefly after shopping yesterday (i live near woolies), and she had a cold she'd been fighting, coildn'd stay long enough for a coffee (with groceries in the car), asked a lot of questions 😞 ra
She rminded me "you're the only one who can do this you know" (in other words - I can't help you). I offered my substantial load of material to the quilting group - "bring it roundround" she said. Later, it occurred to me - WHY CAN'T SHE PICK IT UP! (grr, now I'm getting cranky - their not worth that). At leart the other chch friend stayed for coffee, brang creamcake and helped me load the car with x6 boxes of books donating to the church library. Oh, she wants me to go to church today. I don't think so. I feel a bit hurt by the lack of support over the yearsyears, andcbusy here - expected too much Ifrom them I guess. But guess they they do pray for me, and care, they say, and welcome me into their meetings... I don't know, maybe it is me. Too much of a loner these days, don't perform well enough to 'fit in' (which usually means - not earningbenough money). Hmm, betta not go down that track atm. Blackdog is down that track.
But Everyone wants to know "what are you doing now?" ... ... Which of cause "I don't know" (other than helping dad 'till he dies & wanting to live within driving distance of my son.
My son rang ladt night to say he's not well & wont be coming up this weekend as planned 😞 Said He's lost 3kg with stomach virus or something poor dear 😞 Now I'm worried I won't get to see him 'cause i really don't think I'll have a spare couple days to drive to Brisbane before having to go back south to the Guardianship hearing / tribunal 😞
Really on my my own here guys and that makes me feel very very sad with life. Sad indeed. Blackdog wants me to come lay with him. But resisting, somehow...
Must read back over all your beautiful posts today, for encouragement.
Really gotta get focused here.
Heres something that made me chuckle when i arrived Tuesday. Last night i packed up the nativity window display in the front window. Yes, its been up all this time - with working solar lights since Dec28 LOL
Well, betta have brekky, take my meds (they help me cope), dress for battle - good shoes, bra etc lol.
Light a candle for me. Please. I'm barely holding together - and hurting.
Wondering how all you guys are coping / doing with your jobs.. Take care...
@Former-Member
