Constant Measuring Can Lead To Misery

[Silenus]

Hi @DefiantPanda @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Sahara

Thank you so much for your kind and thought provoking words.

I thought I would just share a little bit about why I am so anti-establishment... hahaha...

Because I think...

It's that simple, really. I think about why things are the way that they are. I don't just accept the world as it is. I look at the wrong things, and I wish it were different.

But that process of judgement and thinking gets me down. I used to feel this impotent rage rise up within me whenever I would look at all of the obviously wrong and destructive things in our societies. "Why?" I would ask myself, "Why are things so bad? Why don't people see what is so blatantly obviously wrong with everyting, and then just fix it?"

Yeah... well... that's a great way to set myself up for failure. One person against the world... it's fairly obvious how that will end... world wins, one person loses...

That's what used to trigger the majority of my depressions. That impotent rage. It was a very unhealthy state of affairs.

Again, it ties back to measuring, to judging. I hold the world up to my idealised world view, and I find the world lacking in this way or that. Because I am unable to change the world, I become frustrated, angry, and eventually sink into despair and misery. Then I climb back up from my depression after a period of time fighting with my demons, and then repeat...

Until I identified this terrible pattern, that is...

It is amazing what awareness can do. By becoming more aware of what is going on inside our heads - our thoughts and our moods, and the reasons and triggers for them - we gain insight. Insight is a wonderful thing. It can free us from all of these patterns and life traps, even ones that have had us going round and round for decades.

One simple "A-HA!" moment is enough to change a life's path.

When I was 8 years old, my parents and I emigrated from Denmark to Australia. For years, I was bullied at school. This broke me for years to come. For years, my parents neglected me because they were unfortunately too busy working their butts off, trying to get established in a new country. This also broke me for years to come.

Learning to identify the broken bits, and finding the spiritual or mental glue to start putting the pieces back together again, that is the secret to a better life, for we are all broken in multiple ways. That seems to be an unavoidable reality.

The hardest part for me has been working out how to identify and fix the broken things and the hurt, without getting caught up in measuring this thing or that thing too much within myself. Acceptance and Mindfulness are crucial parts of this journey for me...

Sorry for the scatterbrained blurt of words. I'm a little elevated at the moment, and my thoughts are flitting faster than these clumsy fingers can keep up with (even though I type at 90 wpm, hahaha...).

Many hugs and happy vibes beaming your way, good people. 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

Golly @Silenus

I need to read and reread. Can I copy and print this beautidul message you have written. 

I have currently been asking quora what is the best way to write a novel.......

What you have written makes me want to cry...I had my home taken from me by my Dad because I was .vulnerable and scared.......

I beg you to hold onto your home no matter what.

[Sahara]

Hi @Silenus,

I think that most of the people who have t?e power and the resources to fix the world are either corrupt or else apathetic.  The average guy can only do so much. You might be able to change something in your own community, but maybe not change the entire world. That would be hard.

I am inspired when I do see people who are into activism and who are motivated to change things... like the people who create charity events and fun-runs and community gardens and such. I mean, there is a lot of that going on, even in my small town. I think most of the efforts in this direction are coming from a good place... people do really care. They donate to the local hospital, they volunteer for the CFA and all those things. 

But to change the whole world to make it a better place? I guess that's what the politicians are supposed to be doing, but most of them end up either corrupted by power or else denigrated by the mass media for our entertainment. Yeah, I guess this is the worrying thing, isn't it?

[Silenus]

Hi @PeppiPatty 🙂

The concept of "home" is so important to us all. We all need a place to feel safe and loved. I am heartened by the fact that people are so good at making homes wherever they go. Look at this online community here - a safe and loving home...

This makes me happy. Hugs and happy vibes beaming to you. 🙂

[Silenus]

So true, @Sahara

Personally, I believe as Krishnamurti does - to truly change the world, we must change ourselves. The path to a better world for all lies through self evolution.

By example, we try to lead the way to a gentler, more compassionate and caring world...

Compassion is my compass. With it, no matter where I am, I am never lost...

[PeppiPatty]

Hi........@Silenus,

I take your smiles and put them near to my chest. There but for the grace of God go I.

My mother was a war baby of the WW2. My Great Grandparents were the best friends of Trotsky where they all lived and grew up in Hungary..there is no records of this because my Great Grandmother burnt everything when they moved to California in the early 1900s. 

But what is my what is MY inheritance?

Not much at all. An angry single child Mother and A Narcassistic Father

and realising that the only way through is honesty and positivity. I fell in love with my second husband who suffers times of Chronic PAranoid Schizophrenia......and other unmet needs.

As the unfavoured, I am faced with my younger brother having silbling rivalry and being favoured by my Mum hit him in the face. this is what Im getting through and my PSychiatrist is getting me free sessions to see my Psychotherapist. Yay. 

The PSychiatrist is doing this for me because I cannot get over that My Dad conned me to sell my home and save his business over 10 years ago. Most of the time, since the gravity of this action hit me last year,,,,,I walk around wanting to vomit. 

Surprisingly though ........

My sons are......amazingly well balanced sons. 

I like your writing. It feels calm

[Silenus]

Hi @PeppiPatty

You should be proud of stepping outside the repeating patterns of your family. More power to you. It pleases me greatly to hear that your sons are well balanced. This is our greatest gift, our best legacy... to try to be better...

My calmness... it comes after years of inner conflict and turmoil - a lifetime of it. Still there is much conflict, but I sit apart from it and observe it with a quiet grin. If I did not, I would still be a slave on the battlefield, constantly and foolishly fighting my self...

Sending calm vibes to you all. Peace is a state that can be reached, through balance, introspection and gentle challenges...

[BlueBay]

Hi @Silenus

Im not very good tonight but I have read your post and I just want to say thank you for posting.  It resonates with me so much.

Not much for talking tonight, but thank you

[Silenus]

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling tonight @BlueBay

Sending lots of warm comfy happy vibes your way. They're meant to help when talking and thinking aren't your favourite thing. Been there. Lots of hugs... 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

DEar @BlueBay

Hi @Silenus

Some strawberries and cream for us tonight. My husbandcan start up the utube comedy section if you would like to listen to comedy sketches for an hour or two ???

We are here for you @BlueBay......everyday my mind is full of creativity but my pills slow me down, my loved one's needs stop for 1/2 an hour, the .......knowledge of what me origional family's games leave me breathles. Having my youngest son stay here is very nice......

I so need to get back to see my Psychotherapist. 

Can you think of a ....support.....handle for yourself for tonight @BlueBay ?

How are you tonight @Silenus