Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I don't know if this is allowed...
but I'm scared my husband might be taking advantage of my past trauma to control me in the bedroom.
I'm not really too sure what do and I'm really confused.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

my first instinct is to tell you that if your instinct is telling you that it might be happening it probably is.. but that may be my own history being... overly suspicious... i dont know.

I do know that the 1800 Respect line was one of the most helpful and informative lines that helped me through a trial against my ex for dv/sexual assault. It might be that you need to get some 'expert' information and advice by sharing a bit more of the detail of whats going on for you with someone. If not 1800 Respect you could also talk to a gp or counsellor? a local DV service may be of help as well. 

https://www.1800respect.org.au/

hugs

LJ

[Lunar]

Hi there @Former-Member,

I completely agree with @Former-Member, I think if that is how you are feeling than that is completely valid and worth getting some support with like calling the 1800 RESPECT line, it might be really helpful just to talk it through with someone?

Lunar

[Former-Member]

Thanks for the replies.
It's an incredibly yukky situation that I have to deal with now 😞
Doesn't seem to matter how much I ignore it, it's not going away.

[Heart]

Hello @Former-Member, I strongly agree with @Lunar & @Former-Member. You need to get some advise that can help settle your instincts. Please do not let anyone over power or take control of you. 

Take care:)

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

sorry you're going through something like this... it doesnt go away on it's own, and its really hard, but you really can do it. I got away from my ex and my kids are doing so much better now. they're confident and happy... and i'm getting there. I know that we're safe and have so much more now than we used to!

Have you been able to get any advice/help from anyone? is there a friend/family member that you can talk to for some help?

here listening

lj

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member
I have a good friend whose helping me, knows about it, and she's helping me to get into a counsellor to figure this out in my head.
I'm so scared. I don't know what to do.

I keep second guessing myself and wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

[Heart]

Hello @Former-Member, Glad to hear you have a friend to be there for you and help support you through this. Yes this can be very scary and you are doing the right thing by going and seeing a counsellor to figure this out. Look at the second guessing as a fork in the road and not knowing which road to take. This is where the counsellor should be able to help you set foot on the right track. 

Take Care:)

[Former-Member]

I unfortunately can't get into a counsellor for a couple weeks. Not sure what I'm suppose to do in the mean time.
I can't go on like this 😞

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Former-Member,

Are you ok? I get concerned when I hear phrases like 'I can't go on ike this'. 

One thing that abuse can do is that it can make doubt yourself and your judgement. So speaking with a professional can be a good sounding board. 

Can you contact 1800 Respect? You can speak to a counsellor on the phone or online. It's not face to face, but it might be a good supplement while you wait to see a counsellor.  Having worked on Helplines in the past, I spoke to many people who were on waiting lists to see counsellors. Some people would also contact the helpline in between sessions. 

CB