14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

Good night Jacques you are stronger than you give yourself credit for

[Jacques]

Thank you Karen, you are so good to me, tonight whenever you send a message i cry, i don't know why, thank you for being my friend, ypu mean more to me than words can describe, thank you.

[Jacques]

Good night my friend, i am so sorry for making things hard for you, i hope you manage some sleep.  sorry for everything.

[hiddenite]

Hi cherry bomb im safe not much you can do ina mhu

[hiddenite]

Jacques never be sorry you are my best friend I Iove you unconditionally
you v are perfect just b the way you are

[CherryBomb]

Goodnight to you both, and thanks for letting me know that you are safe.

I know that you both are finding things difficult right now, but as you both see in each other, I also think that you are both stronger than you realise. 

Stay safe, take care of yourself and each other

CB

[Jacques]

Hi @Former-Member & @Appleblossom,

Thank you so much for posting last night, you are both amazing women, in your own lives you are struggling but take the time to reach out to me, thank you both so much.

Sorry i was really emotional last night and struggled to post anything, i would have responded if i could.  I just want you both to know i look up to you, you are amazing women with all your adversities in life you still take the time to support others, it may be the motherly instinct comming out, or maybe your caring natures, but you are both so kind and considerate.

Big hugs to you both, thank you.

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hi My angel,

Sorry i am still really low today, but i will make an effort to write.

I am so glad you managed to cry last night, i know you have not been able to cry for a long time either. allow the tears to flow Karen, sometimes it is good for us to release all these built up emotions.

I lied in bed all last night feeling alone scared and thinkign about you feeling the same, i tried so hard to imagine you holding my hand, but the anxiety was just too powerful.  my chest feels like it is going to explode, i have had bad chest pains and stomach problems all week.

Well the tempurature has dropped 18 degrees today, so it is nice, i put some water on the front shrubs this morning, and a mother magpie was forraging for food, i think i told you the neighbour across the road is feeding her mince, well anyway, she is being a bit too well looked after and now struggles to fly.  she looks happy and healthy though.  she never attacks any of us, i can get almost 1 meter before she gets scared and flies off.

Sorry Karen i don't have much else to report, i am back in my room, writing this message to you, feleing so lost, you are not alone Karen, please remember when i can't talk on here, i am thinking about you all the time, just close your eyes and imagine me talking to you.  

I do hope you get to see your girls this weekend, i know it is really tough on them and i know it is tougher on you even more. you are a wonderful mum Karen, an amazing woman, and so strong, seeing you go through all this over the past 8 days, the strength and courage you are showing me is just astounding.  I am so proud of you Karen, i do know how difficult all this is for you.  but i see you really trying.

Stay strong my friend, a big hug to you too.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques im so sorry you are so distressed .
My chest feels like someone is sitting in it. The IBS has been really horrible in here um so glad I have my own bathroom.
My friend please try and focus on the small things.
we are allowed to talk to each other. For me that has made me so happy. I don't know what I would have done if I lost contact with you again. Keep that thought forget everything else that is going on.
We have each others.
My support is unconditional.
I care for you so deeply I will do anythung to supoort you.
please take care and stay safe
karen

[Jacques]

Karen i feel really horrible being so distressed while you are the one doing it tough.  i don't understand what has made me this way, i just can't seem to shake it.

yes my chest feels the same way, i feelreally hot all the time, i keep telling mum to turn up the AC and she says it is freezing in here already, so i don't know, i am worried how much more my body can take, 80% of my days now i am in a panic, i can't sleep, and the ibs is horrible, i am having to rush to the toilet 5-6 times a day.  so exhausting.

you are right Karen, talking to you is all that matters to me now, you bring me so much peace, i was devistated, so worried about not being able to speak to you again, i know that is not what the meeting was all about, but my mind always goes to the extreme of what if.

Karen please remember you are never alone, with our anxiety i know it is impossible for us to ever meet each other, well for me anyway, but being able to talk to you on her is such a light in my otherwise dark day.  you are my best friend and i support you unconditionally too.  

it often makes me smile knowing how easily i can talk to you on here, and knowing we could not do any of this face-to-face, i can't even look at people, let alone talk to them.  Karen you are my guardian angel.

please be safe, my thoughts are always with you.