Ask Anything Monday: Have a question you feel too apprehensive to ask?

[Appleblossom]

I noticed @Loopy and have missed his posts. Involvement on the forum also takes time.

Thanks for saying you like reading me .. I thought your picture of ankles and shoes were cute ..it reminded me of a conversation I had with my daughter when she was talking about sneakers .. I was proud of my red beachcombers I saved up for when I was at school ...

[NikNik]

Happy Monday All!

Thanks @Appleblossom & @PeppiPatty for your contribution last week.

Calling all carers! I think we will all have an opinion on this one:

Hope vs false hope.

I'm often told to hold hope for my brother who has a MI. I find that the more I hope the more I'm let down. On the flipside.. if I don't have hope... well I just feel helpless for him.

How do carers maintain a healthly level of hope?

[PeppiPatty]

I feel that the hope you can always give is empathy. 

Not just being with the sufferer and caring but also contact with nature via walks and spending time together.

Is you brother taking medication? Waking up positive, you know, not over happy but acting calm.....I always think that a 'copy,' of like say.......... you know....the movie....'Little Miss Sunshine,' where the characters are all in the huge emotional range....sort of in the middle of the mother/brother/Grandfather.

[Appleblossom]

On a slightly different track .. lowering expectations can be conservative of energy reserves and have an calmer emotional quality that doesnt rile or irritate the the person if depressed .. sometimes if their energy is high it can be good to match them in that quality with some insight .. memory .. pop reference .. shared experience..

Going in gung ho with happy can be a waste of time for everybody if the negative is not respectfully acknowledged somehow.

Being realistic is important and maybe there is not a lot you can do to change the fact that your brother has a MI diagnosis.

Acceptance ... but oh dear  .... how I resisted and struggled against that ...

[NikNik]

Happy Monday all!

Thanks @Appleblossom & @PeppiPatty for your awesome responses, yet again!

Here is this week's question:

Girlfriend of a poorly diagnosed depression sufferer here. My boyfriend was recently given anti-depressants by their GP and sent home without any follow up. I think my partner needs better treatment than a GP can offer but struggle to approach the subject without making their depression seem much bigger or worse than it potentially is.

I guess I'm hoping that a better diagnosis will lead to a better management of their mental health - but by encouraging my partner to see a specialist I'm worried I'm making things worse. Any advice?

[Former-Member]

Go back to the gp & ask him/her to write a mental health plan for your partner to see a psychologist. Ask for someone who does Cbt. Research has shown cbt is more effective than medication for mild and moderate depression. In the case of major depression - cbt and antidepressant medication have similar success rates. Good luck. Always be gentle and look after yourself so that you don't get carers fatigue.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

I agree with @Former-Member
If you can, go back and get a Mental Health Plan.
This entitles you to 10 free appointments with a psychologist per calendar year.

I kinda feel like a MHP should be done in order to receive medication for any Mental Illness.

[Appleblossom]

I agree with @Crazy_Bug_Lady and @Former-Member ... as the plans involve seeing a psychologist who are trained to deal with people for healthy people it usually removes some of the stigma ... I believe it should be ok to see a psychiatrist too .. but it is not a perfect world.

Go Gently with him and yourself.

[Shaz51]

hi , I can`t share any advice as i am in the same situation !! as a carer you want to see more done but my husband doesn`t want to go back anymore , I have made a appointment with the GP but it is in a weeks time and with a new GP ,

[Peter_Pan78]

Great advice. Yes, a mental health plan is the way to go. I had to get really unwell to finally get one (shouldn't be this way!) Most GP's I've had dealings with seem to dish out antidepressants as a first resort not a last resort. I feel most GP's are not trained in mental health management. (I understand that training is optional?)