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Elis
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Can the cause (childhood trauma) be identified and corrected I read that once it happens it’s too late

I have  mild BPD and Adult ADHD (inattentive), I am finally accepting it and discussing it lightly with people I run into just like it’s diabetes and not anything to be ashamed about. BIG step from a month ago ( I was livid!). My first trauma was an ongoing every day defeating painful upsetting mass load of bullying from my brother, to the point I hate photos ( never let ppl take mine), I wanted to be invisible, developed eating disorders , worked out to punish myself, I remember after awhile about 10 or 11 I kind of got really wierd and started making a little alter in a box to some unknown god! writing myself lists of what’s wrong with me, thinking that I would like to grow up become really attractive and break men’s hearts but never give mine, my barbie dolls would fight over ken and the one I labelled the “easy” “cheap” got all her hair chopped as punishment ( later become a lesbian for the superior barbie queen)...yeah my head was constantly all messed up twisting my life into knots and causing myself to never reach an unattainable goal of perfection( aww once I’m perfect no one will ever leave me, I’ll be happier so more friends, better career, enjoy everyday just me and the mirror. SELF IMAGE!! Problems can I get a hell yes!

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Can the cause (childhood trauma) be identified and corrected I read that once it happens it’s too late

Hey @Elis, thank you for sharing your experience with us. While not having an answer regarding your question, it's great to see that you are being kind to yourself regarding your diagnosis. Has this only been a recent diagnosis?

Re: Can the cause (childhood trauma) be identified and corrected I read that once it happens it’s too late

Hi @Elis , I'm no expert in this, but, I don't believe it's too late to change if you/we want it enough.  It might take a while and seem like a journey without end, but, with patience and persistance I can't see why it's not possible.  I'm fighting my own battles, that are completely different, but, I have goals that I'm not going to give up on.  It sounds like you have made significant progress already.

 

Welcome to the forums and nice to meet you.  Take care.

Re: Can the cause (childhood trauma) be identified and corrected I read that once it happens it’s too late

I would like to hear more about what other people with Borderline are going through, about what it’s like for them daily, whats there  issues or concerns? And whether doing dialect therapy worked for them at all? Has been a long journey already of misdiagnosis, alternative therapies, retreats, rehabs and I have to have hope but honestly I’m scared it’s not  going to work and I will be stuck in a feedback loop forever. I also have high levels of adult ADHD and currently being drug tested soi can be prescribed stimulant medication, does anyone think that will help my life significantly? Will I be able to work harder and consistently on activities like piano and writing? I can’t stand this feeling that comes back at different times and days, feel time slipping by quickly and I’m stuck in cement unable to break free 

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