Skip to main content
site-logo
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Boo13
Community Guide

feeling sad

My 17 year old son was diagnosed with schizophrenia just over 12 months ago.  After several trials of different medications and doses, he has been relatively stable for the last few months.  He says his voices have gone ( although after his last hospitalisation in May, he may avoid telling us about voices to avoid future hospitalisation), and his motivation and moods appear to have picked up.  He is functioning, attending school and generally doing well.  On this basis, it seems I should be grateful and have nothing to worry about.

 

however, I often find myself worried and confused about his behaviour.  I struggle to tell the difference between normal teenage behaviour and his schizophrenia symptoms.  He hardly talks to me unless he wants something.  He says he hates ho e, but knows he has no money to move out.  He tells me the next best thing is to stay in his room.  He frequently yells at me and abuses me if I ask him questions or if I seem to irritate him.  He usually does this when we are alone and I can get frightened.  I have anxiety and get scared.  His anger is very sudden and loud.  He swear a me and says some dreadful things.  He knows that I do a lot for him, but says I criticise him all the time and he can't do anything right.  That isn't true.  What he thinks is criticism is actually what I see as normal parenting, e.g asking him to clean up his room, have a shave etc.  he takes these very personally.

 

i am feeling very sad about our relationship.  I feel so disconnected and just want to have a good relationship.  I feel like a failure.  He is my only hild and I feel errified that he hates me.  My husband has 2 other children from another relationship and doesn't quite understand my heartache.

 

does anyone have any similar experiences with anger and schizophrenia or MI?

 

 

 

 

19 REPLIES 19

Re: feeling sad

@Boo13 Hi Boo13 sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time with your son. Let me say this my middle son who also has schizophrenia and other issues went through a very aggressive stage when he turned about 16 and it lasted until he was about 21. Just like his pdoc said would happen..... schizophrenia and hormones are not a good thing 😞

 

I think you should be talking with his pdoc again. Maybe his medications need to be reassesed. In any event you shouldnt feel scared in your own home and on many occassions we had to call the police in to take my son to hospital becauase of his aggression towards the family. Do not let him get away with it for his own sake as well.

 

I will be here for a little while longer tonite if you want to talk just @greenpea.  Take care greenpea

Re: feeling sad

@greenpea thank you for sharing.  It is so hard to know what is normal and what isn't .  He has been aggressive to others, but mainly me.  I am half his size now.  It is like a switch turns on and he explodes.  He is calm now and says he can't remember.  I don't think he realises how he talks to me most of the time.  

 

there are times when he demands that I buy him alcohol to cope and I refuse to do so.  He yells and gets angry and walks off.  His case manager has spoken to him about this and the danger of alcohol with his mess.  He threatens me, but I don't give in.  

 

The angers ion and withdrawal are the major symptoms now.  He also has periodic tremors and uncontrollable shaking of his right limbs.  These symptoms started a couple of years before the psychosis and voices and I am convinced are part of his illness. 

 

A tough journey, ups and downs.  I hate the illness, not my son

Re: feeling sad

@Boo13 Truer words were never spoken 'I hate the illness not my son'. . Lucky for me my son has autism as well and it prevents him from accessing alcohol. Alcohol a big no no I have told him that and he knows. Yes my son is 7ft he is really intimidating when he is angry it scares the hell out of me to be honest.

 

@Dadcaringalone is another great person to speak with. He is also doing the hard yards, He is away this weekend but back next week. He is a really, nice person. Oh btw I also have schizoaffective disorder and when my medication isn't working my moods are all over the place. I would really look at your sons meds.

 

I am heading off now. Great talking with you and I hope to see you around. greenpea 🙂

Time
Senior Contributor

Re: feeling sad

Hi there pleased to meet you.  My son is older much older but he does similar things as well.  And yes this makes me sad so I very much understand what you are saying.  PLease dont take what he says to you as personal.  Try to speak to him with open ended questions, listen, offer words like." yes I understand what you must be feeling tell me more"!

If he says negative things to you or about other things in a negitive way ask him what do you think is the answer then put it back on him to answer !!  In a caring way of course.

Getting him to let his feelings and thoughts out can be good for you as well as for him.  Creating an environment where there is trust is very important.  Also sounds like he needs to engage in things like hobbies or interests around the home or within the community.

As a mum myself I really know how you feel and its easy to blame self as mothers do.  Remember your his mum and you love him and only want the best for him.  

 

Re: feeling sad

Lovely first message @Time - thank you.

Re: feeling sad

@Time@Boo13@s-jay@greenpea

This all sounds pretty familiar to me! Over the years I have just learnt to meditate when my son is angry, screaming aggressively and out of control. I learnt this the hard way when I restrained him once because he was aggressive, suicidal and completely out of control and I got arrested for this! Some of the hurtful and disgusting things which came and still comes out of his mouth I can’t repeat here because they will be disallowed in this forum, but there were a lot of “fs” in these exchanges. A recent pretty aggressive exchange between my son and wife in a psychiatrists office was also not particularly nice, think my son told her she was a stupid fxcxing bitch or something, she also got all these text messages which I got her to delete straight away. She’s still recovering from this and my daughter got the same last year during her HSC exams and it was so hurtful my daughter said to my just yesterday that she will never forgive my son for what he said to her. At the same time she was suicidal and really delicate! She said to me that “dad, stop apologizing for him, he needs to face up to what he has said to some people”! I know as you said, its not him but the illness and now he doesn’t have any friends left because of this behavior and I’m the only one left weathering the storm. He’s become more introspective recently since his medication has stabilized him, but some of the damage he has done while he had undiagnosed schizo effective disorder of the bipolar type are unrepairable and very difficult to mend! There is a lot of damage control after my son’s recent episode which resulted in his recent hospitalization which he was just discharged from on Wednesday which we need to start trying to deal with now. Like many of us, we often say some of the most hurtful things to those we love the most and when it’s been said, even if it’s forgotten or was unintended, the scares of what was said remain. It’s a pity there is not delete function like our messages on our mobiles for your memories of what was said during a mental health crisis...

Re: feeling sad

@Dadcaringalone@Boo13@Time Hi Dadcaringalone yes I know I have been guilty of being aggressive when I have been sick and definately my son has. It is no excuse but the truth and upon reflection I am not proud of what I have said and done and would be the first to apologise (one of the reasons I take my medication is to be a responsible citizen).  

 

 

Re: feeling sad

hello @greenpea, @Boo13, @Dadcaringalone, @Time

sending you all hugs and hoping you are ok today , thinking of you and love to hear from you Heart

Re: feeling sad

@Shaz51@Boo13@greenpea@Time

Sorry I have been out of contact for the past day or so. Been busy watching the footy finals. It’s half time now. My son is traveling pretty well after being discharged! He was going to go off on another manic shopping spree this morning but has now decided to put it off indefinitely and also try to get back into his part job which he blew all the cash from. Someone from this great forum advised it’s best to sit on a manic shopping decision overnight then revisit it the day after. I’m really proud of him, he’s trying his best to get back into his studies as well. Keep truck’n 

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance