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Something’s not right

florencefifty
Senior Contributor

Story of my life...

I met a girl at work. 

 

I met her two weeks ago. For two weeks, I really thought she liked me. She thought I was funny, she asked questions about me in particular so she wanted to get to know me, we were into the same hobbies and interests...

 

I asked her whether she was single. That's the first time I've ever done that.

 

I wanted to ask her for two days, but privacy is basically impossible to come by at work. Unfortunately for me, she already has a boyfriend. They're been together for six months. MONTHS. I'll be glad to date someone for six hours.

 

She said she still wanted to be friends and I definitely believe her. I said goodbye and she said "what are you talking about, aren't you staying for drinks?"

 

I did. It would have been super cowardly of me if I didn't.

 

She told me I'd find someone soon... but you have no idea how many times I've been told that.

 

I'm just amazed at what my friend said on February 25, 2019. This part I actually want you to comment on.

 

There are so many people who would absolutely adore you, so please don't waste your time on people who won't put in the same effort you do.

 

That doesn't go away. Every day, I just marvel at that. I've heard it so many times, but when I heard it from her, I really believed it.

 

Was she drunk? She was so confident that I would find someone within months. I wonder what she would think of me now. I don't care about finding "The One" right now. I just want to get started, and meet someone who actually likes me. I'm not expecting my first relationship to last for decades. It doesn't have to. It shouldn't be this hard.

 

Of course, it's not all doom and gloom.

 

My doctor said that being in my previous job was the biggest barrier to finding someone else, because I was always reminded of the situation. The fact that I've only been out of the job for two or three months and I've already found someone who can be my friend is a good sign, and I can benefit from that.

 

I just need to go to bed...

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Story of my life...

I have often felt that way @florencefifty  that I have cared more about a person.  Always wondering when things will be mutual and reciprocal and all that.  Lately figuring out that it is more about my attachment style and damage, than me. I also do have an independent streak.

 

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Re: Story of my life...

That is an invaluable quote @Appleblossom . Thank you so much for sharing. It's really warmed my heart strings tonight.

 

And @florencefifty , in a way, as hard as it is to WAIT, is it better to wait or jump into something that may not last? It is a lifelong commitment on both sides that needs to be thought out properly.

 

It'd be good to ask all those in the community who have had more experience than I have, lol. So I'm glad you've put it out. We'll wait and see the wise words that come out of our fellow-community members.

 

tyme

Re: Story of my life...

Also @Appleblossom ,

 

What you said about attachment styles is so true. I think I tend to be the opposite. People care more about me than I do them!

 

That's definitely something I need to work on.

 

tyme

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