Lived Experience Forum

[Anabelle1960]

Hi,  I have had an interesting life always been very independent so never ask for  help! Very sick as a child so lost use of my legs age 10 abandoned by parents institution till age 13 ! I was lucky to be operated on Age 13 learning  to walk run again!  They sent be back to my mum til she threw me  out age 15 so on streets homeless for a few years  ! Started working in Pubs at age 15 so managed to learn how to support  myself! Life was always difficult as I was very Skinny,  small for my age due to along childhood sickness!  I did well at work but was attacked walking home at 3am one morning which put me in a Coma intensive care for months!  This left me with Post Traumatic stress syndrome or massive panic attacks with no warning!  I found it I did not sleep I could avoid the nightmares,  could avoid the attacks by self medication!  This worked for 5 years but ended up with a stroke age 20  massive stroke age 25 ! Now I am age 65 I find I am again having Panic attacks,  migraine,  uncontrolled shaking of hand legs,  double vision! I do not wish to seek medical help as do not like drugs,  anti depressants!  My job requires a medical examination so again so not want to declare myself unfit!  Only 18 months to a pension so I guess just try to soldier on? I do have chronic emphysema  from working in Pubs in 70's,  I do have a fused Spine,  I have broken my Neck,   I do have Neurofibroma disease?  Maybe I should just give up stop trying?  

[Jynx]

Hi @Anabelle1960, welcome to the forums. I'm one of the moderators, just popping by to say hello, and let you know you're not alone in your struggles. Sometimes it really does become overwhelming to the point where giving up feels like the only option.

I'm sure you'll find a great community here who can empathise with you. It's also important to reach out if you're feeling like it's all too much, and you're running out of hope. Please also think about reaching out to a helpline, like Lifeline (13 11 14) or Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467) if you need to talk to someone.

[Historylover]

Hello @Anabelle1960  Such a lot you have had to deal with. 

Re: the attack you suffered - I was mugged once but was able to get up and walk away.  I was traumatized for many months and couldn't stand anyone walking or standing out of my line of sight.  We have to experience these events for ourselves before we understand the effect it has on our sense of security etc.  Your attack was unimaginable.

There is little I can say further except that I wish you well and think you are remarkable to have been through so much and still trying to get on with life.  No - don't give up on trying.  I send my best wishes.