Something’s not right
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22-03-2019 09:18 PM
22-03-2019 09:18 PM
Is this just a bad day?
I feel awful. I’ve been crying all the way home. Struggling to cope. Could really use a friendly ear right about now. Voices going beserk! I’ve been averaging only a few hours of sleep per night and then pulling 13hrs out of the house working. This cannot continue surely? I feel like I did back in August 2006 and that time didn’t end well at all.
Perhaps I am just lazy?
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22-03-2019 11:49 PM
22-03-2019 11:49 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
you arent lazy @Queenie 13 hours of work is a lot when you only slept for a few. is there something stopping you from sleeping? sorry about the voices that is always hard to deal with. were you crying about a specific thing? or just randomly bursting into tears because it if the second option that always seems to spell trouble for me lol. hmm maybe sleep is the first thing to try and work on that could help with the voices and the crying and if you are sleeping and they still dont go away then i would see the doctor.
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23-03-2019 01:41 AM
23-03-2019 01:41 AM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
@Queenie Hi Queenie you are definately no lazy. Lack of sleep is a dreadful thing - for some reason I am not sleeping atm either.Adge and Blue Bay both have not slept well lately neither has eth .... eth blamed it on the full moon. Who knows even sleeping pills are not helping me atm. Anyway again you are working hard without sleep which is enough to make someone emotional.
Lots of hugs and hping you are fast asleep and won't read this until later today. Love greenpea xxx
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23-03-2019 06:29 PM
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23-03-2019 09:09 PM
23-03-2019 09:09 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
I’m in a dark place tonight. I got to stop taking this out on myself and those around me. I now know I will never work again and that’s hard to face. All my dreams lay shattered... all because of my stupid illness that I didn’t ask for!
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24-03-2019 12:12 PM
24-03-2019 12:12 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
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24-03-2019 04:46 PM
24-03-2019 04:46 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
Darkness at the moment. I tried reaching out to real life supports and got shut down again.
I guess I’m on my own in this.
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24-03-2019 08:34 PM
24-03-2019 08:34 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
If you feel like you're not safe where you are, go straight to your local hospital or police station - they can connect you with services, and tend to take situations lile self harm seriously. But you have to be prepared to lay it all out.
I have fibromyalgia and bipolar disorder. It's incredibly hard to realise that your life will never be what you dreamed. My heart aches for you and what you have to deal with.
You're not alone.
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25-03-2019 07:38 PM
25-03-2019 07:38 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
@Queenie i am sorry to hear about the work issue is there a specific job you cant do now? or is it all work? i cant make things better for you but if i had a magic wand i would be waving it frantically for you. it is hard when things outside our control take things from us especially things that are so important. i am also sorry your supports shut you down. i find it frustrating that people around people with mental health issues are always complaining about how it is too much for them. but they can take a break they get to leave it behind the people living with it have to deal with it 24/7 and how do you think they feel dont you think they are exhausted too. dont you think that it is too much for them as well. i am not saying it isnt hard for carers i just think they dont fully understand but often think they have a lot more of an idea about how it feels but i dont often find that is the case. is there anything we could do on here to help?
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27-03-2019 07:24 PM
27-03-2019 07:24 PM
Re: Is this just a bad day?
Sorry I haven’t been here at all for a few days. I still feel incredibly fragile. I see my gp tomorrow afternoon and it’s all going to be laid out. I told my support worker how seriously close I came the 23 and 24th March and he managed to calm me down a bit. My voices are still berserk and sleep is minimal. I’ve been working work placement for my course but everything is falling apart. I’ve been running myself ragged and now I have nothing left physically and emotionally.
I’m ashamed. I should be strong but I’m not.
I’m to the point I hardly eat because I’m not getting enjoyment from food. It all tastes blah. I think I might be headed for ect again.