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Jaye
Casual Contributor

Seriously nagging grandma

My grandma wanted to live with me and my kids. I was happy where i was financially and mind wise but she was adament so we got a house together. shes a hoarder of nice things and i mean clothes, food, ornaments etc. Honestly she has too much things like 3 lounge suites is too many for 1 smallish lounge and i was the 1 who had to move it all for her in my 2 door car. I  Borrowed a car and trailer and had to carry it by myself as it was only myself who would help. Did i mention she moaned about me doing it by myself because no one wanted to help because they didnt want to hear her either? Took me 2 weeks all the while working and taking care of my kids just to move her in. From day 1 she has nagged from a spoon in the sink to a drink bottle on the table while the owner has gone to the toilet (2 mins tops) because it shouldnt be left unattended. Always talks negative. Anyway, before i moved in with her i told her own kids to take her in. They All said putting it nicely no. Feeling sorry for her i did. I put my dreams on hold for a couple months to settle in etc. Being single with kids with 1 average wage it was alright. Adding someone else who undermines your parenting and nags and moans is not. She talks nasty about people and gossips to the rest. I read alot from buisness etc to actual books. Dont like shopping. I live very basically or am a minimalist and she hates that I teach my kids the same except they love to shop (all kids do) my kids be good or bad and she buys them lollies and moans about it.  i just got my abn, gst, registration etc for my own buisness as i had started to do this a year ago but had to put things on hold due to her illnesses, moving in with her etc. I work night shift and have trouble sleeping. She likes everyone up by 7am. I finish work at 6am. I sleep when i can. At work, in my car, at someone elses if i have to. She wants me to tell her things that are happening in someone elses life and gets nasty when i say not your buisness so stay out of it. I like my privacy. Tells me she needs to know everything i do or where i go. Im not allowed people over ie males not that i would ever disrespect her or my kids like that with a stranger as she calls them or a s..t as she called me yet i havent been with anyone for 3 years. today Ive told her im moving out. Ive had enough after a year. Even said id keep paying the rent. I need to deal with myself and kids 1st and foremost. Now shes tryna make me feel guilty. I talked to 1 of my parents and they understood everything i said. They took off when they were younger to get away from all of the negativity but it followed them a few years later. Theyre devorced now due to themselves not anyone else. I want my life back and the chaos gone. Am i doin the right thing? Advice please

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Seriously nagging grandma

Hi @Jaye and welcome to the forum.

That all sounds so hard, especially as it seems you were trying to help your grandmother out. I'm a single parent too and am pretty protective of my little family and our little home. People interfering, adding opinions I didn't ask for and creating chaos is not what I need (it can be chaotic enough!). It takes a lot to keep things going and any extra pressure or strain can really impact me.

I don't have any advice but it sounds like you've given it a go, tried to put some boundaries in place and have thought about your decision. That seems pretty sensible to me.

How are you feeling about your decision to move out? I can imagine it would be tricky particularly if you're having guilt pushed on you, but it also seems like you have a lot to manage as it is. It's important to do what's right for you and your kids.

There are lots of people on the forum who know how hard it is to make difficult decisions and to juggle family needs. Hopefully others will come by and reply. It might help if your post is moved to a different part of the forum where more people will see it.

Looking forward to seeing you around.

Re: Seriously nagging grandma

Hi cheerbear, so far i havent attempted to ring or talk to her as im trying to sort my kids, myself and work out. Im really waiting for her to move out. Im not there and wont be going back until i know shes gone or she will try pulling the guilt trip on me. The tears then the... i didnt mean it like that then the... well if you would do this... and then its my fault. Just too tired to listen to it honestly. I have very important kids to worry about and they are my number 1s

Re: Seriously nagging grandma

@Jaye 

thinking of you and seeing how you are today Heart

@CheerBear 

Re: Seriously nagging grandma

Hi cheerbear, im good thanks. Talked to my immediates and they understand due to the same reasons why they stay away aswell. I did try and well atleast i can say i did. Im still not going back. Im looking for another home 4 my kids and myself and move on. Thank you
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