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MDMD
Casual Contributor

Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi everyone, 

 

I've never been one to participate in any online discussion forums, I'm more of an in-person, D&M kind of person. I love (and miss) the human interaction. But given the circumstances with COVID-19, and being unconfortable to discuss my condition with many people in my life, I am excited to get involved in these forums and to meet others who also have Bipolar Disorder. 

I'm slowly digesting the news of the diagnosis and trying to get my head around what this all means for my life. Currently I'm trying to figure out how to mould my career around the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder. 

My two hospitalisation periods were not easy. I used to be very anti-medications and so I was very afraid when I had to be medicated against my will during my first inpatient stay. I have now come to see the efficacy of mood stabilizers and am very compliant. The meds work!! 

 

I'm wondering how others go about making big decisions for their life (e.g. deciding between two very different jobs) when the manic state vs the depressive state would each choose a different path. I'm finding it hard to have a coherent life when I feel like I'm almost two different people.

 

Thanks 🙂 

 

11 REPLIES 11

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

@MDMD  Welcome to the forums.

 

I’m a D&M person myself, so I understand you there.

 

I will tag @eth  @frog  into the conversation, they will be really helpful.

 

Have a look around, and join in where you feel you like.

 

You might like to meet a few other people on the Good Morning  thread. A nice way to get to know.

 

A forum tip. The @brings a dropdown, and is how we tag each other.

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi @MDMD I can relate to your post in a few ways.

I thought about joining the forum for 2 years before I did it! It has been life changing for me to connect with people who understand and don't judge.

Although all the signs were there from about 15, I was not diagnosed with bipolar 1 till 46, and then it took me a year to come to terms with it, and another year to get anything near settled with the right support, medication. Be gentle with yourself and take your time. Work has been hard for me, even with the good support I have now. I have had to recognise limitations and learn to know when I need to step back and look after myself better.

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi and welcome @MDMD  and thanks for the tag @Maggie   I agree with all that @frog has said - I have bipolar 1 too, combined with complex PTSD.  

Bipolar - SANE Forums

 

I haven't been in the workforce since before diagnosis at 46 so can't help with that specifically, but I'm happy to answer questions.

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Thank you @Maggie

D&M's are always best when the other person can relate to what you're going through!

Will check out Good morning  - thank you 🙂

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi @frog,

So great to hear that it's been life changing, I was thrilled when I found out such a space exists and am trying to utilise it as openly as I can (as it seems like a safe space!).
I can't believe how long it took before you got your diagnosis, those years must have been very confusing? Do you mind me asking what it took to eventually be diagnosed?
In my case, it's all been too fast. Last year (during my last year of studies) I started to develop the symptoms, I noticed it myself and jokingly called myself bipolar. I experienced bad depression when I started my working (so I quit). Had several hypomanic episodes before my first manic episode mid year where I was properly diagnosed. It feels like it's all been really fast.
I just find work to be really important in providing stability and routine in my life - which really help with my mental health. But it's about finding the right job you know?

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi @eth,

Can't imagine what it would be like to also live with PTSD and Bipolar.
I love the meme! I find it even more difficult to make decisions for my life knowing that my other state would not be happy with the decision. I honestly do feel like I'm two completely different people at times. Do you ever feel this way?

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi @MDMD the diagnosis really helped me make sense of my life.

I had my one and only manic episode and ended up in hospital for 10 days; the Dr I was referred to upon discharge diagnosed me with Bipolar 1. The trigger was trauma, unrelenting pressure and finally nights on end without sleep. I am more depressive than up typically, but the worst experiences I've had are mixed episodes. I didn't know what they were and confusing is putting it mildly! Now I know what to look for and can see the symptoms building.

I agree re work and routine. Routine is a real mainstay of stability for me too. Has been pretty hard to achieve this year.

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi @MDMD 

 

I am really missing the in-person social interaction too. I have found it nerve racking to speak about my condition with people in my life. It's good to know we will be validated on a forum like this. 

 

I'm very glad to hear the medication has worked for you!

 

I feel like 2 different people depending on my mood/mind states as well. There are a few things I do to make sure my decisions are sustainable with the swings of my mind states: 

 

1.  First of all, I don't make a decision when I am too high or too low (no mood dependent decisions). I wait until I am feeling centred before actioning a decision. 

 

2. I do a modified Pros and Cons List. You gave the example of deciding between 2 very different jobs. This is how I would structure the pros and cons list:
Pros of Job 1

Cons of Job 1

Pros of NOT doing 1

Cons of NOT doing 1

 

Pros of Job 2

Cons of Job 2

Pros of NOT doing job 2

Cons of NOT doing job 2

(I know this seems very extensive but it gives me a lot of insight and makes me think of all different scenarios, and I am more confident in my decision capabilities)

 

3. Look ahead and think "what can I still do when I am unwell, which isn't too stressful." I make sure I am realistic about my capabilities and take in to consideration that my moods WILL fluctuate. As much as I don't want them to, they will. (in my experience.)

 

4. Cope ahead and put support plans in place for when I may go downhill. Noticing early warning signs, organising extra support ahead of time.

 

Hope this has been helpful for you. Good luck 🙂

 

 

 

Re: Hi, I'm new to this space! Diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder 1 early this year - slowly recovering from two hospitalisations.

Hi @MDMD  sorry I've been away for a few days.  I used to feel like I was 2 different ppl at times but not so much these days.  11 years I've stayed out of hospital, since the admission when the bipolar 1 was diagnosed.  So gradually learning to self-monitor and also gradually tweaked and changed meds, including new psychiatrist 3 years ago who I still see and who has me on a cocktail now that does seem to keep me much more balanced.  When I do have an upward or downward swing it's less extreme and doesn't last as long.  A big part of how I manage is using a daily chart that records mood levels (high to low), anxiety and nervous or irritable levels, sleep, medications ticked off when I take them  and brief notes of significant things that happen that could be triggering including PTSD flooding.   Aside from keeping me on track with meds, I am able to see quickly if things are starting to change.There are lots of different charts available - you can get one from psychologist or psychiatrist or google bipolar monitoring charts.

I also do a lot of what @Aniela  has said - delaying what could be impulse decisions when I can e.g. re shopping or travel.  

 

This is the chart I use  https://www.google.com/search?q=bipolar+monitoring+chart&rlz=1C1CHBD_en-GBAU749AU749&sxsrf=ALeKk01ml...

Bipolar Mood Chart. Free Professional Versions Online Now | Bipolar Lives

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