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Re: A new start (kind of)

@Flying_Hams hey Hamsolo, careful with your mood, not to be affected by this girl. Take care.

Re: A new start (kind of)

Good morning @Flying_Hams   Hope you wake up knowing you did the right thing to protect yourself from being hurt further down the line or caught up in their dramas.  If she's lonely it's because she is in some way allowing him to have control over her - sounds like social abuse to me, but only she can choose not to live that way.  Try to stay strong in your resolve my friend.  If she makes changes in her life she knows how to find you.

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @Flying_Hams 

 

I'm scratching my head trying to work out what SO stands for but I don't really need to know - I guess that your friend is in a controlled situation and this isn't good and if someone is checking her phone then she is feeling unsafe and it might not have anything to do with a battle or a war - just her keeping her head above water

 

But what about you? You feel things will change if she continues to block you and I agree it would be hard to keep things running as they are if you are blocked and she has someone controlling her - what can you do?

 

You may have one this battle but the war isn't over - if you can maintain  your distance and your calm maybe you can win a war of attrition - just don't let it wear you down - faithfulness and trust are involved

 

Of course - it all comes back to who SO is in her life - so I don't know but you do

 

It must be horrible being the second whatever in this situation  - okay - it comes back to how much you really care about her - and can you just hold on until she gets the better she needs - that might be you

 

My suggestion - play it cool and wait and see

 

Dec

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah @Owlunar
SO - Significant Other

I'm not interested in her anything more than friendship. We both know that.

It's hard for her I get. But then she is doing it out of loneliness apparently.

People are weird creatures aren't they Dec?

Hope your Sunday is going okay

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi again @Flying_Hams 

 

I am better than I was yesterday - I am not sure about yesterday but it seemed my get up and go had got up and gone - I guess we all feel like that at times

 

Significant other - yes - I get that - and this person seems to be watching your friend excessively - and I know one thing NO ONE in the world has the right to look at my phone - or my computer either - SOs have a varied reputation - I don't have someone in my life that would be that interested in what I do - 

 

So I guess it depends a lot on what your friend considers this SO to be in her life -  and it is important to you to maintain what is a friendship. Some people can allow an SO to have friends - indeed I did have a friend I didn't live with - we went out together a lot - he had a lot of friends and a lot of them were women - and we lived very separate lives a lot of the time - but not everyone is easy about an SO having different kinds of friends -

 

So - as I said before - try and keep your cool and just be there for your friend and be a true friend - accept her situation as hard as this is - it seems important for you to have this person in your life - and maybe in the future she will need a friend like you - if this SO doesn't work out for her

 

Waiting and Seeing can work for you - try that - it can't do any harm, - and if you are blocked long enough you will know more

 

And people are weird - there is no doubt about that

 

Dec

 

I'm interested in hearing more about your story

 

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Owlunar
I agree with you here 🙂

Re: A new start (kind of)

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Hi forumites

I am feeling woeful today. It is what it is I guess.

Work is the last thing I care about at the moment and I hate myself a bit more for it.

Not good at all.

But then baby steps I guess.

The minimalist approach maybe?

Anyway. Take car of yourselves today

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Flying_Hams hey Hamsolo, hope you feel better soon. Be gentle to yourself and others. You are a winner.

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Meowmy
🙂

Re: A new start (kind of)

Pretty sure most people feel that way about work at this time of year @Flying_Hams , so you are def not alone there.

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