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Looking after ourselves

Former-Member
Not applicable

What it means to "seek help."

I thought I would post something positive for once.

 

I was watching a video of a well-known NFL podcast creator, who was reading out the names of his new members, to thank them for their support.

 

One of them had the word "suicidal" in their username. He read out the name and then he said "I hope not, please seek help if you are."

 

I thought that was an excellent touch, but it got me thinking. It is interesting when people say that, because I don't think they know exactly what they mean.

 

If someone is suicidal, they have probably already reached out for help. They are probably already working with a therapist and a psychiatrist. They probably have for YEARS, they just haven't seen the results yet.

 

So "seek help" comes across as very vague. It sounds like a platitude, especially when it comes from people who have no experience of mental illness.

 

Some people that battle mental illness DON'T reach out for fundamental support. So for some people, it can mean "consider seeing a doctor and a therapist for the very first time". That's the most obvious application. That can be life-changing.

 

However, people who have been suffering long-term can benefit from "seeking help" as well.

 

I saw a video from someone talking about how she was on a couple of different medications before she found the right one for her.

 

"Seeking help" can mean consulting with your treatment team, acknowledging that your current treatment is not working, and trying something else. That takes a lot of courage.

 

It is also not restricted to professional help.

 

"Seeking help" can mean allowing your friends and family to be a greater part of your treatment, helping you with everyday life, so you can focus on your condition more.

 

"Seeking help" can even mean taking a break from therapy, with your therapist's permission.

 

Imagine you are trying to solve a very difficult mathematics problem. The substance and the mechanism of solving the problem is REALLY complex, but the fundamental principles are the same.

 

I watched an interview with famous mathematician Ken Ribet, who was talking about his process for solving the Epsilon Conjecture. He was talking about how "if you study a problem very intensively, you carry it around with you, and you can get insight at random times throughout the day", and how he preferred to work on the problem in a very rigid way. "On this particular occasion, I was at the desk."

 

It was a very specialised, complex problem of Number Theory, but if someone had encouraged him to "work hard" or "find inspiration", he would have gotten something out of that.

 

Although it is a bit vague on the face of it, you could hear a lot worse than "please seek help."

 

I would encourage all of you to “seek help”, whatever that means for you.

1 REPLY 1

Re: What it means to "seek help."

Thanks for the different perspective on the phrase @Former-Member.

I'll admit when I've been struggling, that phrase has always struck me as a cop-out because of thoughts like "duh, what do you think I've been trying to do?" or similar. And that would just leave me feeling misunderstood, angry, and more alone with my problem.
I had such a hard time getting to a point where I could trust that it's ok to actually ask for help (and being at that point is only temporary 😉 ) and would be pretty much begging for it with one hand and fighting it off with the other, thinking that nothing and no one could help and simultaneously that I don't need or deserve help.

So my version of "seeking help" then for example might be to tell my psychologist about a difficult feeling/thought I'm having, rather than assuming that it's not worth talking about.
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